Brokeback
by Welcome2MyMind
Summary: Modern AU. Ennis/Jack. A new take on the life and fated love of Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist.
1. Tragedy

Tragedy hit where nothing would be able to fix it.

Ennis Del Mar had been born and raised on a ranch outside a small town in Wyoming. He grew up as the normal rough and tough rancher, learning everything from his dad and older brother, K.E. He was young when he first learned how to ride a horse. His dad taught him how to shoot a gun in his early teens and after much practice, Ennis became a pretty good shot. He and his brother went out hunting often. Ennis enjoyed the outdoors, but also did his share of the work inside with his mom and older sister, who was the eldest of the three kids. Ennis became a fairly good cook under their tutelage, but he would rather be out hanging with K.E. on the ranch or out hunting in the woods.

Things started going downhill when his parents lost the ranch and they had to move into town. Ennis and his siblings adjusted rather well, but changing from open land to a street filled with houses took quite a bit of time to get used to. They went to school just like they always did except they didn't have to leave as early to get to school on time. Their parents got stable jobs to keep the house they now lived in and provide for their three teenagers.

Ennis' sister soon graduated and got married. Her plans were to move out of the small town and Wyoming completely to live with her husband in a big city where she had always pictured herself to be. In heart, she wasn't that country girl she had grown up to be. As soon as she was married, she and her new husband were the first to take off after the party. They would call after the honeymoon to get everything set up for the big move.

That night, tragedy struck.

Ever since he had gotten his new car, K.E. had practically been drooling over it and bragging about it to his friends. As the party died down, K.E. offered to let Ennis drive home. Their parents had already gone home an hour before. Ennis, old enough to have a drivers license but didn't yet own one, was very enthusiastic about driving home. K.E. had given him quite a few lessons in their dad's old truck, but K.E.'s car was much simpler to drive. And it was an automatic. Ennis was proud of himself for being able to drive stick which made driving the automatic child's play.

Mom texted K.E. to stop by the store and grab some milk. When they got to the store, K.E. met up with some friends outside, leaving Ennis to pick up the milk and pay for it out of his own pocket. Ennis, quiet and shy after the move into town, had developed a short temper. He could control it at times, but tonight paying for the milk when it should have been K.E.'s responsibility really irked him. He nearly huffed and puffed back to K.E., shoving the milk into his brothers arms before heading back out to the car.

K.E. followed him outside. "You didn't have to be a dick about the milk," he said. "Especially in front of my friends. You know it's not impossible for a person to act mature."

Ennis had been ready to apologize for his attitude, but K.E.'s words kept that from happening. He just got into the car without a word. K.E. climbed into the car and not another word was said. The silence gave Ennis time to think over how he had acted, but the silence also meant that K.E. wasn't apologizing for what he said either. So, it only seemed fair that Ennis didn't apologize either. There were always times the two brothers didn't get along, so this would all blow over by morning. It always happened that way.

But neither of them could stop what happened next.

Fuming inside, Ennis didn't see the headlights of the car coming toward them until the two cars collided. It was later learned that the driver of the other car had been drunk and hadn't seen them either until it was too late.

Ennis woke up in the hospital to the relieved faces of his parents. His mother's face was grief stricken and tears were still flowing down her cheeks as she showered Ennis with relief and love. His dad stood by, not looking at Ennis. There was no expression whatsoever on his face. And when Ennis asked what happened, his mother backed away, sobbing uncontrollably. A memory of headlights entered his mind in a flash...

"Where's K.E.?" Ennis asked quietly, his chest tightening when his mother went to his father for a comforting embrace. Ennis didn't ask again and his dad quietly told him that K.E. hadn't survived the crash.

Ennis couldn't move when he heard that news. A deep, deep pain erupted inside him but he couldn't express it. He just laid there stonily. He had been the one driving when the other car hit. How could he blame anyone else but himself? K.E. had trusted him with driving and Ennis had failed him. To top it all off, Ennis had been mad at his older brother at the time. His anger had kept him from paying attention to the road. He should have been paying attention even if the road had appeared empty. He had thought it was safe. It should have been a safe ride home. Where Ennis and K.E. would turn in for the night then wake up and be friends again, forgetting the events of the night before. A happy family, that was the way they were supposed to be.

Always.

Now their family had been cut off completely. His sister had moved away with no plans of ever coming back. K.E. was dead and his parents couldn't even look at him as if they blamed him also for what had happened. Later that night, once he was alone, Ennis finally permitted himself to cry, burying his face in the pillow and pulling the blanket up over his head. And, later, once he was released from the hospital, night after night was spent quietly crying himself to sleep. Only once did his mother catch him crying in his room. She had held him until his sobs subsided, but he locked his door every night after that. He retreated upon himself. There was nothing anyone could do to make him feel better, anyway. Nothing anyone could say to stop him from blaming himself for K.E.'s tragic death. He would live with that for the rest of his life. His parents eventually got the picture and left him alone, but still offered to be there for him whenever he needed it.

He never took them up on the offer.

His sister came home for the funeral. Ennis dressed up nicely, but didn't say a word the entire ceremony. Nearly the whole town showed up for the funeral. Ennis sat stone faced, refusing to shed a tear. He hated himself for what happened and mentally beat himself up for breaking down and crying over something he knew he couldn't have done anything about. His sister said a few words, making everyone sniffle. Ennis never looked away from the closed coffin. No one said anything to him, but he could feel the disappointed looks from his mother and father.

Months after, Ennis continued to visit the grave of his dead brother. Crying himself to sleep every night had finally stopped. His father had gotten onto him, telling him that real men didn't cry. It had been long enough for them to move on. K.E. would have wanted that. Ennis didn't know what K.E. would have wanted, but he listened to his father anyway and forced himself to move on. His visits to the grave became less and less until he avoided the cemetary completely.

Ennis went to school every day, getting through the day with hardly saying a word. Kids that were once his friends moved on and didn't speak to him again. Ennis found himself sitting alone for lunch, but didn't mind. He liked the peace loneliness provided. Though there wasn't much peace. After school, he started working odd jobs around the neighborhood. Mowing lawns, fixing cars, or whatever else the neighbors were willing to pay him for. On his seventeenth birthday, Ennis got his drivers license and his dad's old truck was his birthday gift. A prize for fixing it up off and on whenever he had free time. He knew he had earned it and loved the idea of owning his own vehicle, but he never drove it. He looked after it, but it remained sitting in the driveway. He didn't trust himself behind the wheel of anything. People were safer when he wasn't on the road after all, right? He had gotten himself to believe that.

Worried, his parents got a therapist to come to their house one day months after his birthday. Ennis came home from school, shocked and upset about it. He closed himself off in his room, forcing his parents to apologize to the doctor for his behaviour and then thank him for coming. They didn't pull something like that again. He didn't forgive them for it, but he made sure to have a happier attitude around them. At school, no one noticed him, so he was fine to dwell in his own thoughts there. Even around the neighbours, he made sure not to look down and depressed just in case they said something to his parents. He didn't need a repeat of that last therapy session. Talking wouldn't help him. The last few years since K.E.'s death had proved that. He just needed to be alone.

So, not long after his eighteenth birthday, Ennis took what money he had earned and left town, taking the first bus out. He didn't know where he'd end up and didn't care. He would later dub the next few weeks as a time of "finding himself." Running away worried his parents more, but they didn't call the police. Maybe they knew he needed this time alone. Nothing else seemed to have helped.

Ennis got off at the first bus stop and after a considerable amount of walking, he ended up on Brokeback Mountain. 


	2. Jack Twist

The peacefulness of the mountain was inviting to Ennis. He spent his time, roaming through the trees and enjoying the mountain air. It reminded him of all the times he and K.E. went out hunting. They would be out sometimes all day and nearly all night. Most of the time they came home with nothing but an empty gun, but they had a hell of a time while they were out there. It was one of the happy thoughts Ennis allowed himself to have without breaking down whenever he thought of K.E. That night never entered his mind and he refused to even think of his sister's wedding.

Ennis didn't have anything to set up for camp, but he enjoyed sleeping under the stairs. He always kept a fire going, only sleeping for a few hours at a time. He caught up with naps during the warm afternoons. Days passed and he enjoyed being completely alone, but he couldn't ignore the fact that he was running out of food. He would normally go hunting for something but he only had food and clothing with him. He knew he would only be able to stay up on the mountain for a few more days before he was forced to head back to civilization for food. So, he was enjoying what he could get here and now and not worry about later. He had been up here for a week now. He felt better so he was pretty sure he would be ready when the time came to head back home.

He was napping one afternoon the day his life changed completely.

Ennis woke up to the sound of footsteps and shot up quickly, surprising the young man that was standing there. He was around Ennis' age with dark hair and bright blue eyes. He wore jeans, a T-Shirt with a light jacket, and hiking boots. He held a walking stick in his hand. He didn't look threatening at all and Ennis felt a bit stupid for being on the defensive so quickly.

"Hi," the guy said with a greeting smile. He had a similar country accent Ennis had and had grown up around with. "Sorry I startled you. Didn't think anybody else was around here." He stepped closer and held his hand out. "Jack Twist." That same friendly smile remained on his face.

Ennis hesitated a moment then stepped forward and shook Jack's hand. "Ennis," he introduced himself, dropping his hand as he stepped back.

Jack propped his arm on his walking stick. "Your folks just stop at Ennis?" he asked with a smirk.

Ennis grabbed his cowboy hat from off the ground, dusting it off and using it as an excuse to look away from Jack. "Del Mar," he replied, pushing his sandy blonde hair off his forehead as he put his hat on.

Jack gave another smile. "Well, nice to meet ya, Ennis Del Mar," he said. "How long you been up here?" He pointed back the way he had come. "My folks are down there fishin'. We just got here this morning." He lowered his hand. "Wanna catch lunch with us?" He was sure the talkative type.

Ennis glanced around, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He shrugged his shoulders, ignoring the first question. "I got plenty to eat here," he said, his eyes meeting Jacks for a brief moment. "But, thanks for the offer."

"No problem," Jack said. "My mom woulda killed me if I hadn't offered." He took a step back. "Maybe I'll see ya later?"

Ennis only shrugged in response.

"If you change your mind, we're down by the river," Jack said, walking backwards as he spoke. "If ya can't find us, just listen for the sound of loud country music playin'." He grinned then turned and walked off, giving Ennis a small wave as he moved off.

Ennis stood there unmoving, unsure how to handle what had just happened. He sat back down on the grass, wondering if he should try to get to sleep again. The offer for lunch was starting to sound pretty good right now. And as he sat there debating his decision, he soon heard music playing off in the distance. Part of him just felt as if Jack was just trying to get him over there. Just his luck to run into some nice folks while he was up here trying to "find himself." But, hadn't he neglected socializing long enough? It had been a few years after all since he had had any enjoyment with other people around.

With a sigh, Ennis got to his feet. He grabbed his bag then headed down the hill to the river. The music got louder as he neared and he spotted the camp. A table had been set up for lunch and a woman was setting plates and forks down. A man stood at the fire, cooking fish. Ennis could smell it from here and it made his mouth water and his stomach growl. He hadn't had something hot and tasty to eat for a week now. He spotted Jack down by the river with a young woman and from the affection the two showed one another, Ennis guessed she was Jack's girlfriend. Sisters weren't THAT loving.

Ennis stopped at the edge of the camp when he was spotted. He didn't know what to do right then. Thankfully, Jack bounded over to save the day.

"You came, after all," Jack said with a smile that said he knew Ennis would have made this decision. He pulled Ennis over to the others. "These are my parents," he said, gesturing to them. He smiled and stepped over to the young woman, putting his arm around her. "And this is my girlfriend, Lureen." He kissed her on the cheek. "Ennis Del Mar here is either lost or camping with no tent."

Ennis didn't really want to get into his reasons for being here. "I, uh, kinda forgot to buy a tent when I planned my trip up here," he said, hoping that was a good enough lie.

"We got an extra tent you can borrow," Jack said. He turned to his father. "Where'd we put that other tent?"

Mr. Twist looked up from his cooking. "It's still in the back of the truck," he said, checking the fish. "We can go down and get it after lunch."

"And be back in time for supper," Mrs. Twist said, adding an extra plate and fork on the table.

"I don't want to put y'all through any trouble," Ennis said. He was perfectly fine with sleeping on the ground even though a tent would be better during the cold nights. He had a rough time staying up all night to keep the fire going.

"No trouble at all," Jack assured him, looking at Ennis. "My horse can make it down the mountain and back up in record time."

Ennis wasn't used to this sort of hospitality. After avoiding people the last few years, this was practically all new to him and he didn't know how to handle it. But, he had been raised right not to be rude. These people were being nice and he didn't want to hurt their feelings by saying no.

Plus, there was just something about them that made him feel welcome. He hadn't felt this good in a while and couldn't help but get the feeling that that welcoming feeling was mostly coming from Jack, who seemed intent on doing the neighborly friendly thing.

Jack volunteered to head down the mountain for the extra tent right then while everyone else sat down to eat. No one said anything about it and Ennis was left to fend for himself the next few hours. Fortuneatly, he got out of talking. Jack's parents seemed nicer when Jack was around. After they were through eating, Mr. and Mrs. Twist headed down to the river to fish. Lureen sat out on the grass, sketching. Ennis sat there at the table unmoving. There was nothing else for him to do anyway.

The evening weather chilled the warm afternoon away. Jack returned with the tent and wouldn't let Ennis go back up to his hill of solitude and helped set the tent up nearby but far enough away from the Twist camp to give him some privacy. That night, Ennis slept through the night, warm. He slept late, looking at his watch the next morning before getting up and climbing out of the tent. He undressed and washed himself off in the river then put some clean clothes and washed the other. He laid them out on some rocks to dry.

Ennis was stretched out on the grass, enjoying the sunshine when Jack came over. Jack managed to talk Ennis into roaming about the mountain with him. Jack talked alot while they walked and Ennis found out alot about him.

Like Ennis, Jack had been born in Wyoming, but he one day wanted to move to Texas. Lureen lived in Texas and he wanted to move closer to her. They had already decided they would get married one day, so their life was set. Camping up on Brokeback once a year was a normal thing for Jack, and this was the first year he brought his parents and girlfriend. Jack didn't have a job, which disappointed his parents, but he never let that get him down. He didn't know how he was going to get down to Texas with no money, but that didn't seem to bring him down either. Jack was just a positive person.

And comfortable to be around.

The next week went by and Jack and Ennis spent most of their time together roaming the mountain. Bit by bit, Ennis started opening up about his own life. He found it easy to talk to Jack, but he still remained mostly quiet. Jack had gotten used to it, never saying anything about the quiet. Ennis didn't talk much, but by the end of the week, he could openly talk around Jack. The two became friends quickly, but there was still something about Ennis that Jack couldn't pinpoint. They had talked about nearly everything, but Ennis was always avoiding the big question:

What brought him up to Brokeback?

And one night, a few days before they would leave the mountain, Ennis opened up. 


	3. Closure

Ennis had been enjoying the time he spent with Jack. It wasn't like the times he spent with K.E., but he couldn't help but think of it as better than the time he spent with K.E. He had been moving on while up here on Brokeback, but Ennis hadn't realized how much he just thought he was moving on from until he started spending time with Jack and talking about everything with him. Ennis hadn't opened up about his brother yet, which said that he hadn't moved on at all. Which meant he wasn't ready to go back home.

Jack seemed patient about the big gap in Ennis' life, but Ennis had to say something sooner or later. They were good friends now, but that friendship could grow stronger if Ennis just trusted Jack enough to open up about that night. He had learned that his parents hadn't even known he had been driving that night. His paranoia of them blaming him had only been in his head. Sooner or later, he would have to tell them, but that night was only his to own. No one was allowed into that part of his life because that was Ennis' weakness. Ennis had retreated in upon himself and no longer cried over it, but that pain was still there.

Ennis met up with Jack early one morning up on the hill where they had first met. The grass was still wet with dew. Jack had a heavier jacket on and was carrying a rifle. Today there plan was to go out hunting. Ennis was excited, but didn't openly show it. He might be more open around Jack, but Ennis hadn't expressed his feelings about anything ever since K.E. died. Jack never seemed to mind. Ennis was grateful for that. Jack didn't seem to expect much of anything from him. He just liked having someone out here around his age to hang out with that wasn't his girlfriend. And Ennis was three or four years younger than Jack.

They headed up into the mountain further, away from the camp and the sound of the water flowing in the river. Things got quiet real fast other than their soft footsteps and the sound of their breathing. Ennis made sure to stay extra quiet, the way K.E. had taught him. His older brothers lessons were sure coming in handy right now. Unlike anything his dad taught him.

Jack crouched down behind a bush when they saw movement up ahead. Ennis crouched down beside him and looked around, spotting the deer Jack was now aiming the rifle at. Ennis watched him, noticing his face scrunch up a bit in concentration. Those blue eyes were locked intently onto the target. Ennis was too occupied with watching Jack to ask if shooting a deer was even legal. What was in season out here?

Ennis looked forward as Jack fired. He didn't have to wait long to see the deer bounding off.

Jack had missed.

"Video games make this seem so much easier," Jack said, getting to his feet. "Why can't the deer just run around in one spot for a while?" He looked at Ennis as he stood. "Y'know, like those ducks on Duck Hunt?"

Ennis looked around then over at Jack. "Have you ever even gone huntin'?" he asked, his hands on his hips as he turned to Jack. "You said you came up here-"

"I mighta lied 'bout that," Jack said, guiltily.

Ennis raised his eyebrows slightly. "Mighta?" he echoed.

Jack lowered the gun with a sigh. "Ok, this is my second year up here," he said. "Last year I helped out with a local rancher and they came up here often to hunt game and I tagged along with them."

"You son of a bitch," Ennis said with a smirk. He shook his head, lowering his arms to his sides. "If you were just trying-"

"If I had wanted to impress you, I would've hit that deer now, wouldn't I?" Jack asked. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "I lied about comin' up here because I wanted to be the adventerous type. Not the boring, lazy ass guy I really am. My folks have been tryin' to kick me out of the house since I was seventeen."

"My parents don't ever want me to leave."

"Then how come they didn't come out here with ya?"

Ennis didn't want to get into this. He grabbed the gun out of Jack's hand. "Why don't we go after that deer?" he asked, walking around the bush. "I'll show ya how to shoot." He looked away from Jack as he started forward, walking around trees. He heard Jack following behind him. Jack didn't ask anymore about it. Ennis felt pretty bad for avoiding the subject like that, but there was just too much pain for him to bear there and he didn't want Jack to see him going through something like that.

After a few minutes of walking, Ennis finally spotted the deer. The doe was out in the open, eating the grass. Ennis knelt down on one knee, raising the gun to his shoulder and sighting along the barrel. Jack crouched a couple of feet behind him, making no noise. Ennis concentrated on his aim, keeping an eye on the deer. He exhaled slowly then pulled the trigger. The deer jumped, stumbled around a bit then fell dead.

"Well, I've definitely got a lesson to learn from you," Jack said with a smile.

Ennis smiled, lowering the gun as he looked over his shoulder at Jack. For a brief moment, their eyes met then Jack got up and headed down over to the deer. Ennis stood up and followed him. They took the deer back down to camp then went out again after breakfast. This time, they left the gun behind and just went exploring like they had been doing.

Jack broke a branch from a tree as they walked, picking the leaves off of it. "We're headin' off the mountain in a few days," he said, not looking at Ennis. "Lureen's gotta get back down to Texas in time for classes that start up again next week. Mom and Dad have got a store to get to."

Ennis hopped up onto a fallen tree, carefully walking along it. "Well, it was fun while it lasted," he said, holding his arms out to keep his balance. The tree bowed a bit as he got near the end.

Jack stopped and looked up at him, tossing the tree branch away. "If you're gonna stay up here a while longer, you're welcome to keep the tent," he said. "We don't use it anyway."

Ennis looked down at him. He wasn't too sure when he would be coming down from the mountain, but it had to be pretty soon. "I don't think-"

"It's a gift, Ennis," Jack cut him off. "Just say thank you."

Ennis paused for a moment then said, "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Jack said. "I could always leave you my number. Who knows? Maybe we'll run into each other again and have some more fun."

Ennis felt something in his chest just then and didn't know what it was. He didn't really want to say goodbye to Jack and the thought of meeting up again sometime sounded pretty good. "I don't know if I'll be around here again anytime soon," he said. Why had he said that? "But I don't mind callin'." He lowered his arms to his sides.

Jack nodded, a smile on his face. "I'll get you my number before-"

Before he could finish, the tree Ennis was standing on snapped and Ennis found himself falling. It wasn't far, but he landed hard, twisting his ankle and getting banged up pretty good as he hit some rocks and the broken part of the tree. He landed between the broken part of the tree and another tree nearby.

Jack came over to him immediately, kneeling down next to him. "Ennis, you okay?" he asked.

Ennis nodded and started to get up then winced and fell back down when he put weight on his ankle. "I think I twisted my ankle," he said then involuntarily cried out in pain when Jack felt of his ankle.

Jack pulled his hand away quickly. "Bud, you didn't twist that," he said, looking at Ennis. "It's broken. Think you can make it back to camp?"

Ennis shook his head, fighting back the pain. "It's quite a few miles from here and I'll just slow you down," he said. "It'd take me hours. You go on ahead."

"And leave you here?" Jack asked as if that was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. "There's bears up here, you know. I'm not leaving just to come back and find you dead."

"Fantastic image, Jack," Ennis said a bit sarcastically. "Really needed that to think about." He glared at Jack, but that only made Jack grin.

Jack shook his head slightly. "We brought some stuff to eat," he said. "If we're not back at camp by lunch, they'll come lookin' for us." He turned and looked around for something to start a fire with.

"And how are they gonna find us?"

Jack hesitated a moment then looked over at Ennis. "You just gotta have faith, that's all," he said. "You're gonna be fine." He moved over to sit down beside Ennis, his back against the tree.

Ennis shifted slightly but even that small movement sent pangs of torture through his leg and ankle. He was starting to regret getting up on that tree.

"You got a girlfriend back home?"

The question took Ennis a bit by surprise. He looked at Jack and shook his head. "Only girls I know are neighborly old ladies that sometimes need help with feedin' their cats or mowing their lawns," he said. "I'm not the kind of person to settle down with anybody, anyway." He was a loner and he had made himself that way.

Yet, every day this week, he couldn't wait to spend time with Jack up on the mountain. This was the most fun he had had since he and K.E. went out hunting with their dad.

"I don't believe that," Jack said. "You're a nice guy. You could get along with anybody. You just need to wait for the right girl to come along, that's all." He smiled.

Ennis looked away from him. "You're probably the only one that thinks that."

"What about your parents?"

Ennis scoffed at that question. "They think I've gone crazy," he said. "They once hired a therapist for me." He shook his head. "They've left me alone after that."

"I don't think you're crazy."

Ennis looked over at Jack. The smile on his face was gone replaced by a look of seriousness. Ennis looked away from him again, falling silent.

A few minutes later, Jack got up to go look for some firewood. When he came back, he panicked when he saw that Ennis' eyes were closed but relaxed when he realized that Ennis was only sleeping. Jack sat down and set up a fire but didn't start it. The day would start to get warm where a fire wouldn't be needed.

Hours went by. They ate lunch then just sat there waiting for a few more hours, but no one showed up. Ennis was tempted to tell Jack just to go, he could handle being on his own. He had managed to do so so far before he had met Jack. But, he knew Jack wouldn't listen. Especially with the fact that the weather was getting a little bit cooler as the day went by. By evening, Jack had a pretty good fire going. Ennis' ankle was throbbing and in even more pain, but didn't openly complain about it. The silence just made the waiting worse as the day grew darker. They had been out here all day.

"Didn't think I'd spend the night without a tent again," Ennis said, breaking the hours long silence that he had put them into earlier that day. He looked at the fire. "At least we've got a fire."

Jack looked over at him. "This better not be leading into talking me into leaving you here," he said. "If we still had the gun-"

"You've already made it clear that you're not going anywhere." Ennis settled back against the broken tree. It blocked the cool breeze a bit.

Jack fell silent, tending to the fire. Ennis just sat there watching him for a moment then broke the silence again,

"I came up here to get away from my past." Jack looked at him, but said nothing so Ennis continued, "A few years back, my sister graduated then got married. She moved away quickly." He paused for a long moment, but Jack didn't try to hurry him along. Made it a bit easier for Ennis. "After the wedding, my brother, K.E., said I could drive his car. We started on home then Mom texted K.E. and asked to grab some milk on the way. We did. I got pretty pissed at him because I ended up paying for it when it had been his responsibility."

Ennis took a deep breath before going on, "I was goin' to apologize, but he said something that made me even more mad. So, I got behind the steering wheel again and continued on home." His voice cracked a bit so he had to stop once again. "A drunk driver came outta nowhere and hit...K.E. didn't make it."

"Ennis," Jack said quietly as he moved over to sit down beside him again.

Ennis looked down at some leaves that clung to his jacket. "I blame myself. My parents don't know I was the one drivin'," he said with a slight shake of his head. "I closed myself off from the world. Depression. That's why they thought I was goin' crazy." He looked at Jack. "I ran away and ended up here. Tryin' to 'find myself' in a way."

"Have you?"

Ennis didn't say anything for a moment. Opening up about this had lifted an enormous weight from his chest. He hadn't felt this whole since before the accident. He still would have been lost up here if he hadn't come across Jack Twist.

"Yeah," Ennis said with a nod after a moments silence. "I really believe I have." His eyes held Jacks, something passing between them that neither of them understood.

Jack looked away. "Glad I was here to help you get that off your chest," he said, maneuvering himself so he was laying on the ground. He could still reach over and tend to the fire.

Ennis moved a bit to lay down, carefully moving his ankle. His leg was now pressed against Jacks and he shifted onto his side so he was facing Jack, but no longer touching. He pillowed his head on his arm then closed his eyes to get to sleep. He fell asleep easily, warmed by the fire. 


	4. New Start

Ennis woke up to the sound of voices. He pulled himself out of his drowsiness, pausing when he found Jack sleeping pressed against him. He lifted his head when he heard the voices again, sounding closer this time. He shook Jack awake, who groaned but woke up anyway. They looked at each other when they heard Jack's parents calling out for him. Jack got to his feet then went running after them. Ennis pushed himself up into a sitting position. His back felt sore, but there was no pain that matched the pain in his ankle.

Jack returned with his parents a moment later. With their help, they got Ennis up and back to camp. Jack took him down the mountain on the horse, riding past the truck as he headed into town. He got Ennis to a hospital then had left to go see his parents. Ennis was taken care of quickly.

Hours passed. Ennis' ankle was fixed up and he was shown to a room. He didn't know when he would be released and he didn't care. He was starting to miss Jack. There was a pain in his chest whenever he thought of Jack and couldn't explain it. He didn't even know if he wanted to explore those feelings.

Ennis was sleeping when Jack finally returned. Jack closed the door behind him. Jack wasn't his same smiling self and that worried Ennis a bit. Jack didn't say anything as he walked across the room and sat down near the bed.

Ennis stayed silent also, but he wanted to say something. But, he didn't know what to say. Jack finally sighed. "My parents are waitin' outside for me," he said, not looking at Ennis.

"And?" Ennis asked, quietly. He knew what it meant but he didn't want this to end so quickly. Jack made him feel complete in a way Ennis had never felt before.

"We're leavin'."

That pain in his chest returned, but he kept it out of his expression. "Jack-"

"I've been thinkin'," Jack said as if Ennis hadn't even started speaking. "About last night. Mostly about you." He clasped his hands together in front of him, knees propped on his elbows. "And how you make me feel."

Ennis was taken off guard by the sudden shift in the conversation. And it was going down a road that he wasn't too sure about. He had always been comfortable with his sexuality. Until Jack had shown up. When Jack was around, feelings arose that he didn't want to think about or even admit. But, he couldn't deny there was an attraction.

"I don't wanna leave," Jack said. "It's too short of time." He shook his head, the whole time keeping his eyes away from Ennis.

"Jack," Ennis said. "I don't think..." He trailed off, not knowing what he had even planned on saying anyway. He was just confused right now. And hurting over the fact that Jack was going to leave him pretty soon.

Jack looked at Ennis. "I don't want to lose you as a friend or..." He shook his head again then got to his feet and stepped closer to the bed. To Ennis. "I know I'm walkin' on dangerous ground here. I don't wanna push you away."

"You're not pushin' me away," Ennis said. How could it be anything else, though, with Jack leaving?

"I don't know what to do when I'm around you," Jack said. This show of affection was a little too much for Ennis, who had closed himself off emotionally ever since the accident. "I feel like I should act on it, but another part of me is sayin' that that's the worst thing to do with you."

Ennis wasn't too sure what to make of Jack knowing how he would react to some things. "Act on it," he said, making Jack's decision for him. He didn't want them to part ways and leave this unsettled.

Jack looked at him, looking as if he didn't think he had heard Ennis correctly. That meant he didn't think Ennis could feel the same way. But, Ennis did. Which explained the feeling in his chest when Jack hadn't been around. Ennis needed him, but didn't know how to express that need. All of this was new to him, after all. No matter how accepting the world was nowadays, 'gay' just didn't settle right with him.

Nothing was said for a long moment. Nothing needed to be said. Jack was practically confessing all just with his eyes. Ennis' heart was pounding as Jack leaned toward him, slowing the movement as they came closer and closer. The gap was closed and their lips met.

Ennis closed his eyes, losing himself in the moment as he eagerly kissed Jack back. As Ennis relaxed, the kiss became more heated and Ennis had a pleasant feeling in his gut. They finally parted, both breathing heavily. Each shared a small smile.

Unknown to them, Lureen had come up to hurry Jack along. She stopped at the door when she caught sight of her boyfriend kissing his new best friend, Ennis. It was something she didn't want to walk in on, but it was too late. She turned away from the door and backed off, away from it.

They said their goodbyes. Jack didn't want to leave, but knew he had to and walked out of Ennis' room. Hopefully one day they would meet up again. And preferably take up where they left off. That thought put a small smile on Jack's face.

That smile vanished though when he saw Lureen standing there, glaring at him. They both stepped into the elevator silently. Jack didn't think about asking her what was wrong.

"Were you gonna tell me?" Lureen asked, finally looking over at him after glaring for what seemed like hours at the elevator wall.

"Tell you what?" Jack asked, looking at her.

"Don't play dumb, Jack," Lureen said. She crossed her arms as she turned to him. "Just come out of the closet and make everyone happy."

"What?!"

"I saw you," Lureen said. "You've never kissed me like that." She shook her head and turned away from him. "You get to tell your church goin' parents."

"Now listen here, Lureen-"

"No, you listen," Lureen said, looking at him once again. "I'm not gonna tag along with you and what you hope to come from us when you've been out on the mountain with Ennis for the last week. Doing God knows what!"

"You don't know anything."

"I know enough to know that this isn't gonna work out," Lureen said. The elevator stopped and the door slid open. "Good luck with your life, Jack." She stepped out of the elevator and walked off.

Jack stepped out of the elevator, not sure how to deal with all of this. He was tempted to go back upstairs to Ennis. But, he just kept walking forward. He got out to the truck, seeing Lureen talking to his parents. But, he knew she wasn't telling them about him and Ennis. She would leave that news to him.

He probably would never tell them.

When Ennis was released from the hospital, he was able to walk on his ankle. He had refused to go home with it hurting. He didn't need his parents knowing all of the details of his trip. He didn't have any money, but the hospital paid for his ride home, which he had been grateful for. The Twists had brought his things to the hospital, so he went home with his bag and a tent. When he arrived home, his parents were relieved to see him.

Then that was severed when they gave him the news that they were getting a divorce. That tore him apart and they tried to fix things, but that had only lasted another few years.

As time passed and he got settled back into his life, Ennis got a full time job at the local hardware store. He still had odd jobs here and there from the neighbors but they kindly slacked off when they saw that it was taking up way too much of his time and he was exhausted most of the time. He was grateful for the rest, but still helped out whenever it was needed.

He didn't go to college, which greatly disappointed his parents, but they couldn't say much since he was bringing in more money than they could. They noticed the change in him after those weeks he had been away and could see how much he had moved on. But, that hadn't prevented the divorce. Not long after his twenty-second birthday, his parents divorced and his mom left town. His dad managed to get work on his old ranch, so he was now living there. Which left Ennis with no home.

He got a small place near the hardware store, living next door to a cat lady, who always came over to his house every evening to cook him supper. In exchange, he helped her with her cats.

All in all, the trip up to Brokeback Mountain had fixed things.

He just wished Jack were here to share it with him...


	5. Reunion

Ennis walked into the hardware store one morning. He always opened the place since the owner, Joe, lived a few hours out of town and usually came in later in the morning. He had been working here for only six months, but kept getting the feeling that Joe was hinting at the store one day becoming his. Joe hadn't said anything about it and Ennis wasn't about to say anything either. He liked his job since it was the only one he had been able to keep. So far at least.

Stay positive, Del Mar, he told himself as he opened the store.

As usual, it didn't take long for business to pick up. It wasn't that small of a town, but everyone knew him. He had been around town alot, helping here and there over the last four years. Alot of people still commented that they could see the change in him and that he looked alot better than he had before he ran out of town for a while. He had only heard it from his parents one time before they split.

Joe showed up after noon, which wasn't too weird for him since he it was his usual arrival time. Ennis didn't have to do as much when Joe showed up, so he spent his time working on the cash register. He had tried suggesting to Joe that they replace the old thing, but Joe seemed attached to the ancient register. The only thing Ennis liked about it was that he could tinker with it whenever it broke. One of these days they'd get a computer in here.  
Maybe when the store was his...

"Ennis, are these screwdrivers on sale?" a customer asked, standing a few feet away.

"Today and tomorrow," Ennis replied, pausing in his work as he looked over at the customer. He opened his mouth to say more then paused as his eyes drifted past the customer to the door as it opened. He froze when he saw who walked in.

Jack Twist.

Ennis was surprised to see him and even more surprised to see him in uniform. He couldn't think of what war was being fought, but didn't think it mattered to him anyway. If World War Three happened, he'd know and that was it. He was just a small town guy.

Jack smiled that same smile that had greeted Ennis up on Brokeback. Ennis couldn't seem to move as Jack walked over. At least no one stopped to stare at the newcomer.

"Long time, no see," Jack said. "How've ya been?"

"Good," Ennis said a bit slowly. "How'd ya find me? You never gave me your number."

Jack's smile faltered a bit. "Yeah, I feel real bad about forgetting that," he said. "I went back to Signal. Turns out there's one driver that drives one route." The smile returned. "And just happens to know you because he lives here."

Ennis didn't know what to say. Jack had gone through alot of effort to get here. He didn't know what to think about that and didn't really want to since he had made himself believe he would never see Jack again. He had moved on since those days up on Brokeback.

And that kiss...

"Nice store," Jack said, glancing around once. He looked at Ennis. "When do you get off work?"

"Eight," Ennis said before he could stop himself.

"We should meet somewhere," Jack said. "Catch up on old times."

"There's a park," Ennis said, wondering what he was getting himself into but couldn't stop himself. He wanted to catch up with Jack, but there was just one conversation that he was dreading. And that was that kiss. He knew they had jumped into things way too fast and there were so many things he wanted to do over.

"All right, see ya then," Jack said then turned and walked out of the store. Ennis caught himself watching him go, wondering what had just happened.

Ennis shook himself out of his daze and got back to work.

The rest of the day seemed to go by slowly. Ennis couldn't stop thinking about what was going to happen after he got off work. Yes, he couldn't deny it, there was still that same level of attraction toward Jack that he had felt all those years ago. A feeling that he had convinced himself was nothing and had moved on since Jack had walked out on him.

That wasn't fair to Jack, of course. Jack hadn't walked out on him. Jack and his folks had been kind and helped him out when he needed it and then had gone on with their lives.

After work, Ennis headed home for a quick shower. He felt ridiculous for doing it since he and Jack had spent over a week up on Brokeback with no shower. Hot and sweaty was the normal smell of guys hiking up through the mountain.

Ennis stopped that train of thought before 'hot and sweaty' could linger too long in his mind. He didn't need to drift down that path.

It was a quarter to nine by the time Ennis got to the park. He wasn't surprised that Jack was still sitting there waiting on him.

"Hope I'm not too late," Ennis said, getting Jack's attention.

Jack looked at him then stood up. "Not at all," he said then held something out to Ennis. "For old times' sake."

Curious, Ennis reached out and took the small piece of paper. He unfolded it and looked at it. He gave a small smile. It was Jack's phone number. He put it in his pocket.

Jack glanced around. It was already dark and the only light was the street light, practically putting them in the spotlight. "We can always go somewhere else," Ennis suggested.

"We don't have to," Jack said, looking back at Ennis. "It's just like old times."

"It's colder up on Brokeback," Ennis said, slipping his hands into his jacket pockets. "There's less things to climb on here."

Jack gave a small smile. "It's close enough," he said, stepping out onto the grass. He sat down then laid down right there. Ennis walked over to stand nearby. "Sorry I didn't come by sooner."

"You clearly had other plans," Ennis said, meaning the uniform. Jack was just wearing jeans and a T-shirt now, but his expression said he knew what Ennis meant.

"Wish we could pick up where we left off."

"Where we left off, you had a girlfriend."

"Not for much longer."

Ennis sat down on the grass as Jack sat up. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Jack plucked at the grass. "She, uh..." he started then looked at Ennis. "She saw us. At the hospital."

Jack didn't need to explain any further than that. "Oh," was all Ennis could think of to say.

"I was forced to tell my parents the second we got home," Jack said. "I didn't mention anything about you, but I got the feeling that they knew anyway."

Ennis didn't say anything. In the Twist house, his sexuality had already been made up for him. Didn't help the fact that he was STILL confused about things. Up on Brokeback, he felt comfortable and whole around Jack. Four years later, here in town, he didn't know what the hell he was doing. He wanted to be around Jack, but there was a big part of him that just wanted to run away from what was happening here.

Jack looked at Ennis. "I-"

Ennis shook his head. This was skating too close to the conversation he didn't want to have. He moved to get up, but Jack grabbed his arm and gently pulled him back down.

"I don't want to scare you away," Jack said, his hand resting lightly on Ennis' arm.

"A little too late for that," Ennis said quietly. Jack was the only one that had seen him this vulnerable. "I'm scared."

Jack just looked into his eyes for a long moment. "Dammit, I'm scared, too," he said. "This isn't just new for you. I've had alot to think about the last four years, too."

"You don't think we moved a little fast?" Ennis asked. "We hardly knew-"

"I knew more about you in a week than I did about Lureen in a few years," Jack said. He moved his hand away from Ennis' arm. "I don't think we moved fast."

"Not everyone shares that opinion."

Jack didn't seem hurt by that comment. He merely nodded and went with it. Ennis moved away and got to his feet. No matter what he wanted, he couldn't just go by that with this. People he cared about usually passed out of his life forever. Something he had thought had happened with Jack four years ago and he had been okay with that. It was easy to move on from something when it was a habit. At least he hadn't spiraled down into his depression stage again. His happiness had been the only thing about Jack that had stuck around.

They ended up at a restaurant Ennis had worked at for a short time, catching up on old times over pie.

Jack had gotten kicked out by his parents when he told them he was gay. He traveled around for a while, trying to 'find himself' as Ennis had. When he came back home to reconcile with his parents, all he was given was a letter. He had been drafted. He went through training and whatnot, but remained stationed in the States. Alot of his army buddies were sent overseas to fight in Iraq and all those places and quite a few of them hadn't come back. Jack had gotten some free time and had ended up here.

Which meant that Ennis had only a few days with Jack.

They talked for a while after that. Ennis told him about his parents divorce and his sister's two kids, his niece and nephew. He talked about alot of people in town and his cat lady friend, Mrs. Gregson, who had just recently had her eighty-third birthday.

Even though four years had passed, things were back to normal between them. The kiss wasn't mentioned again, but it was obvious that Jack wanted to explore that area more. But, Jack was willing to just settle on their friendship. For now. They had time anyway.

Until Jack would get sent overseas.

They left the restaurant a few minutes before closing time at midnight. Ennis drove Jack to the hotel.

"I get off work early tomorrow," Ennis said, looking over at Jack. "My boss is having a party. His birthday."

"You going?"

Ennis shook his head. "Too far away and I don't like gettin' to bed late."

Jack pointedly glanced at the clock on the radio with a grin on his face. Ennis rolled his eyes and looked forward, a faint grin on his face.

"See you tomorrow," Jack said then got out of the truck and headed inside.

Ennis placed his hand on the gear shifter but left the truck in park. He didn't know why he wasn't moving. Maybe it was just the fact that his mind kept drifting back to those nights he had went through over the last four years where he had wanted Jack to be there with him. Nights didn't seem so empty when he told himself Jack would walk up at any time with that smile on his face, his blue eyes shining.

He didn't want to have these feelings. He had grown up in a town that pretty much frowned upon that sort of thing. People went to church every Sunday even though there really wasn't any sort of religion going around.

But THAT was still frowned upon. By everyone.

Despite that, Ennis still got out of the truck and walked around it. He stopped when he saw Jack standing at the door. He had obviously stopped when he noticed Ennis wasn't going anywhere. Ennis didn't move as Jack walked over. No one was out, but Ennis still had the feeling that all eyes were on him.

"Ennis," Jack started, stepping closer.

Ennis closed the gap and kissed Jack. He should know better, but couldn't quench the feeling in his gut. Jack kissed him back with no hesitation. Jack was more open about this because he had actually thought about his feelings the last four years while Ennis had just shoved it all away and got on with his life.

Ennis broke the kiss, both of them breathing heavily. He didn't have much time to catch his breath. Jack pushed him back against the truck and kissed him again, a passion they had never had time to explore taking over right then and there.

The kiss was broken once again. Ennis gently pushed Jack away from him. Ennis rested his foreheard against Jacks. "Night," he said, quietly.

"I'm not through talkin'," Jack said. He pulled away and looked at Ennis. "What's this gonna mean tomorrow?"

Ennis shrugged his shoulders, but Jack gave him a look that said that answer wasn't enough. "It means whatever you think it means," he said, stepping away from the truck.

"What if you don't like what I think it means?" Jack asked. "Because to me, it's knowin' someone's here waiting if I get sent off somewhere. Someone I can come home to."

Ennis didn't say anything for a moment, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "I ain't goin' anywhere," he said, unable to get the actual words out. He hadn't been able to admit it to himself yet. There was always time to get comfortable with it, though. Just right now wasn't that time.

Jack smiled. "Well, then, I'll see you tomorrow," he said then turned and went inside.

Ennis watched him go then smiled and got in the truck and drove off. 


	6. Party

Ennis walked into the store the next morning to find that it was already open. Joe's wife, Lois, was there, handing out invitations for the party tonight.

"Ennis!" she smiled as she walked over to him. "Don't worry. I didn't forget you." She handed him an invitation.

Ennis looked at it then back at her. "I-"

"You should bring that friend of yours," she went on as if Ennis had said nothing. "What's her name? Mrs...?"

"Gregson."

"Gregson, right!" she said. "You two would make a lovely couple."

"She's eighty-three," Ennis said, wondering how oblivious some people could be. "Thanks for the invite, but-"

"You don't want to miss this party tonight," she said, that same smile on her face. "It's gonna be special." She patted him on the cheek then walked off.

Ennis sighed then stuck the invitation in his pocket. He hadn't planned on going, but now he was just curious. Hopefully Jack would understand. Then again, Ennis could always bring him along. If Jack wanted to go. If not, he wouldn't go. He could always offer the invitation to Mrs. Gregson.

Ennis pushed it away for now and got to work.

Ennis stopped by Mrs. Gregson's for lunch. He sometimes brought her lunch, but she enjoyed cooking for him. She always treated him like family. Her actual family didn't much care anyway.

He let himself in. She always got onto him when he knocked. "Mrs. Gregson," he called out, picking up a cat before it could run out the door. He closed the door behind him and started for the kitchen.

He could usually smell her cooking when he walked in, but today he didn't even hear her in the kitchen.

"Mrs. Gregson?" he called out again when he found an empty kitchen. He put the cat down as he walked out of the kitchen.

He found her in her rocking chair in her bedroom. She had a smile on her face, but her eyes were closed and she wasn't moving. Checking her pulse confirmed it.

She was dead.

After Ennis called 911, he was left out of what followed. The hospital called her family. Ennis sat down on the bench outside the hardware store as the ambulance drove away.

"Joe called," another employee said, stepping out of the store. "Said you could take some time off."

Ennis said nothing, he just nodded. After a moment the employee went back inside.

He sat there for a long time, unmoving. He didn't know how to take Mrs. Gregson's death, but at least she had seemed happy.

Unlike K.E.

Ennis mentally beat himself up for going there again after all these years. He had moved on!

But K.E. and Mrs. Gregson both showed how fast people could leave him alone.

And he was letting Jack into that life.

Ennis stood up and started walking, pulling out his cell. He started to call Jack, but his fingers wouldn't move. Maybe it was because his body knew what his mind knew he should do.

He couldn't say goodbye again.

Before he could dial anything, the phone started ringing. Caller ID said it was his sister. He answered it, putting it to his ear.

"Dad called about Mrs. Gregson," she said. "How are you doing?" Mrs. Gregson had taught her 3rd to 5th grade class before retiring.

"I'm okay," Ennis said, stopping when he saw Jack across the street.

Jack was walking out of a store, bag in hand. He turned around when someone inside started talking to him. Ennis walked off before Jack noticed him.

"I heard y'all were close," she said. She hadn't completely lost her accent. "We're gonna come over for the funeral. To be there for you."

"You don't have to do that," Ennis said. He knew the real reason behind them coming over. To make sure he didn't fall into the same phase he had after K.E.'s death.

"I know," his sister said. "Your niece and nephew wanna see you. Plus, you need to get to know Roger more. You don't have enough friends in that small town."

Ennis' thoughts drifted to Jack. "I've got enough."

There must have been something in his voice. "Oh, I see," He could picture the smile on his sister's face. "What's her name? Is she someone special?"

Ennis didn't really want to get into this so fast. And no answer was all she needed.

"You better introduce me when we get there," she said. "Is she pretty?"

"Uh..."

"Come on, Ennis!" she said. "You're twenty-two! Cut the shyness bullshit!"

"I wasn't plannin' on-"

"Is she married?"

"No," Ennis replied, wondering why she would even come to that conclusion. "She's actually-"

"Then you should have no problems with admitting it."

"Goddammit!" Ennis exclaimed, shocking her into silence. He stopped, feeling frustrated with everything today and wished he hadn't taken it out on her. "I just found Mrs. Gregson dead. I don't have the guts to tell you and Jack's onnly here for a few days and-"

"Who's Jack?"

Ennis cursed himself for saying anything. "Jack's a friend," he said, but he was still unable to disguise his tone.

"Oh my god."

Ennis felt a touch of fear. There was no telling what the consequences of this would be. He opened his mouth to say something-

"You're gay?!"

Ennis closed his eyes, running his fingers through his hair. "You're the first to say it," he said. He still wasn't comfortable with the idea, but he would say anything to get this over with.

"Explains alot."

Ennis was instantly offensive. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You can't deny you've always been different," she pointed out. "And four years ago you disappeared then come back completely changed with an entirely new and bright attitude?"

"Means nothing!"

"Hey, I'm not getting onto you," she said. "I have alot of gay friends here. And if Jack doesn't work out, one of them can keep your bed warm."

"Not happening," Ennis said. "I've only come to grips with this yesterday." And that grip was still a bit unstable.

Even more so now.

"I'm only looking out for you," she said. "I haven't been the best big sister."

Ennis started walking again. "I haven't exactly given you any reason to," he said with a slight frown.

"Ennis," she gave a soft sigh. "I don't blame you for acting the way you did. Mom and Dad can be pretty harsh. Sorry I wasn't there."

"It's been about seven years," Ennis told her. "I've moved on."

"You don't sound like it."

Ennis shrugged. "Bad memories."

"Then talk to Jack," she suggested. "I promise I won't tell Mom or Dad."

Ennis would eventually have to do that himself if Jack stuck around. "I'll talk to him," he said. It was actually a relief to talk to someone about Jack. "Thanks for calling. It's been a while."

"Even longer since we've seen each other," she said. "But, that'll change. I love you."

"You, too," Ennis said then hung up and put the phone away.

He nearly had a heart attack when Jack ran up, hugging him from behind.

"Word gets around," Jack said, the words sending fear through Ennis at what they could mean. "Sorry 'bout your friend." He kissed Ennis' neck.

Ennis pulled away from him and turned to him. "Jack, we need to talk," he said.

Jack held up the bag he was holding. "I got you something."

Ennis paused for a minute then looked at the bag. "What is it?"

Jack held the bag with both hands and opened it. "Look in and find out," he said.

Ennis stepped forward and looked in the bag. "Flowers?" he asked, looking at Jack.

"For your friend."

Ennis didn't know how to feel about this. "I don't even know when the funeral is," he said.

Jack lowered the bag. "Still a nice gesture," he said. His tone made Ennis feel like he was heartless. Jack deserved more.

"Thanks," Ennis said. "Those were Mrs. Gregson's favorite, too."

"I know," Jack said. "I asked the florist."

Ennis was actually touched by Jack's effort. He really wanted to be there for Ennis.

Why did I let him walk away four years ago? Ennis thought.

Because of fear. And that fear was still there.

But, he couldn't let Jack go. And he had almost done so moments ago!

"Do you wanna go to a party?" Ennis asked. Getting out of town for the night might do him some good.

"That party tonight?" Jack asked. The look in his eyes said he was already saying yes.

And maybe it was just the fact that Ennis was actually asking him out.

Ennis nodded his head. 'It'll be fun," he said.

"I'm already in."

"You didn't have to come," Lois said. She had already said it twice and Ennis had been there for maybe ten minutes. "And after the loss of dear Mrs. Gregson."

"I'm fine, really," Ennis said. She hadn't known Mrs. Gregson, so he didn't want to hear anything she had to say. "Besides, I wasn't family, so-"

"And you came here to honeor her memory," Lois said. "That's so touching. Even if you are lone."

Jack was off getting drinks. "Actually-"

"Del Mar!" Joe said as he walked up. "Glad you could make it. Sorry about Mrs. Gregson, but I have just the thing to lift your spirits."

"I'm sure," Ennis said though he really doubted it.

"I'm givin' you the store."

Those words took Ennis by complete surprise. He didn't notice when Jack walked up with the drinks.

But, he DID notice Joe and Lois' curious expressions directed solely upon Jack, who, of course, wasn't bothered by it.

Ennis shook himself out of his daze. "This is, uh, Jack Twist," he said, taking the drink from Jack. "Jack, this is Joe and Lois Aguirre."

"Nice to meet you," Jack said, shaking their hands. "You've got a nice store."

"Thank you," Joe said. "How long have you known Del Mar?" Why did his tone sound suspicious?

"'Bout four years," Jack said. "We met up on Brokeback Mountain."

"I hear it's nice up there," Lois said, though she sounded equally suspicious.

Ennis stepped to the side slightly when he noticed Jack was standing a bit too close to him. He glanced around a bit uncomfortably. He couldn't help but think that they had no overstayed their welcome. Which made him regret coming here.

"We'll let you get back to the rest of your guests," Ennis said, looking at Joe,. He grabbed Jack's arm and walked off.

Jack didn't react, but Ennis clearly heard Joe mutter "faggot" under his breath.

"Shouldn't we be mingling with your boss?" Jack asked. "It's his birthday party, after all."

Ennis nodded his head, saying nothing. He was a bit worried about Lois and Joe's reaction to Jack. And after what Joe said, it couldn't be good.

Jack stepped closer to Ennis, lowering his voice. "Ennis, you okay?" he asked.

Ennis, turning his head, looked at everything but Jack. "I think I wanna go," he said, staring down at the drink in his hand.

"All right, we'll go," Jack said, obviously picking up on Ennis' mood. He took the drink from Ennis. "I'll go get the trunk while-"

"I don't have to say bye," Ennis said, turning and already heading toward the door.

Jack followed soon after. 


	7. Pull Over

It was a very quiet drive. And there was still an hour to go.

Jack hadn't complained about leaving the party so soon after just getting there. Ennis had his reasons.

And he was afraid that if he spoke against those reasons, he would push Ennis away forever. After four years, that was the last thing Jack wanted.

"Pull over," Jack said, breaking the brick wall of silence. He knew Ennis was the quiet type, but he just couldn't stand it any longer.

"Jack," Ennis started, but Jack just repeated himself, putting a little more demand behind the words. Reluctantly, Ennis pulled over but left the truck running.

It was already dark outside even though it wasn't that late. The only light came from the dash and the radio.

"What happened back there?" Jack asked. He looked over at Ennis, whose brown eyes remained directly ahead. "What's goin' through that head of yours?"

Ennis seemed to be serioiusly debating whether or not to talk. Jack would usually wait him out, but this was clearly a bit problem, whatever it was.

"Ennis," Jack said, not letting the silence linger.

Ennis' eyes glanced away, out the drivers side window. He wouldn't even look at Jack. "It was Joe and his wife," he said, still not looking at Jack. It reminded Jack of that night up on Brokeback when Ennis had trusted Jack and poured out his deepest, darkest secret about his brother's death. His voice became a bit quiet. "He practically handed his store over to me on a silver platter."

Jack didn't understand why that would be a problem. "Ain't that a good thing?" he asked.

"That ain't the problem," Ennis said, looking down at the steering wheel. "It was their reaction to you."

Jack thought back towhen Ennis had introduced him to Joe and his wife. He hadn't noticed anything about them, but Ennis knew them better. Plus, he had only been able to talk to them for maybe a minute or two. Not long enough to notice anything.

Ennis looked forward. "I'm gonna be fired by mornin' for sure," he said.

"What's the fuckin' problem here?" Jack asked, tired of the unexplained responses. "Talk to me."

"There's certain people in the world, Jack," Ennis said, one hand on the steering wheel. "Those that accept it and those that don't."

Jack sat there quiet, giving Ennis the same patient silence he had four years ago on Brokeback. When Ennis admitted the blame he felt over his brother's death.

"And the Aguirres?" Ennis said. He shook his head. "Hell, it's the entire town. They're the type of people that go to church every Sunday. Everyone knows everyone. Those that accept it are everywhere but here."

Jack was beginning to understand what Ennis was getting at. Growing up in that town had obviously made him the type of man not to say those words out loud.

"I can't risk losing this job, Jack."

"Because of me?" Jack asked, feeling anger rising inside him. "This is the 21st century, Ennis. Them people need to open there goddamn eye and accept-"

"I grew up with 'them people,'" Ennis said, now looking at Jack. "You might not give a crap 'bout what they think, but I have to face them every day."

"Then leave," Jack said. "You don't have to take shit from them just because they don't accpet the fact that you're-"

"I ain't leavin'," Ennis said, cuttting Jack off deliberately. He looked forward. "I left once, that's it."

"There's nothin' holdin' you here," Jack said, knowing he was pushing it too far. Ennis didn't seem to be accepting this relationship.

"My life is holdin' me here," Ennis said. "And I'm not-"

"Fine," Jack said, turning away from Ennis and looking out the window. He was glad it was dark. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been able to hide the tears of anger and hurt that he was shedding right now.

Ennis wouldn't say it, but Jack still knew. There might be some level of emotion there, but Ennis would rather shove him into a locked room and hide him away from everyone.

And Ennis had had the nerve to say they were moving too fast? To Ennis, this was just a close friendship still.

"Can you drive?"

The question pulled Jack out of his thoughts. He looked over at Ennis, who was gripping the steering wheel tightly. Even in the dark, Jack could see Ennis' arms trembling.

Jack thought back to when Ennis had told him about his brother's death. Ennis had been angry and not paying attention to his driving. It was clear he was afraid of another repeat.

"Scoot over," Jack said as he got out of the truck. By the time he walked around and got in the divers seat, Ennis had scooted over as fas as he could go.

Jack ooked at him, but said nothing. The anger he had felt a moment ago was gone. He couldn't stay made at Ennis. Ennis couldn't change the person he had grown up to be. Jack knew what it was like to live under a broken family.

Even if they hadn't gotten to know each other up on Brokeback, Jack would be the only one to understand Ennis the most because their lives were so similar.

Which was what had ultimately brought them together so strongly.

No, they hadn't moved too fast, Jack thought as he drove off down the road. They had taken too long to meet.

As Jack drove along silently, one thought stuck in his mind the entire time: I'm in love with Ennis Del Mar.

But, he was too afraid to say it out loud.

Only a few people were out and about as Jack pulled up to the hotel and parked. Neither of them had said anything since their arguement.

He's leavin' for sure, Ennis thought, still staring out the window. His chest tightened as he thought back to the moment Jack had walked out of his life four years ago. Was he going to face the same thing here?

"Come inside with me," Jack said, surprising Ennis with those words.

Ennis slowly turned his head and looked at him. "What?" he asked. Did Jack just want to continue their arguemtn without making a scene out here?

"You heard me," Jack said then took the keys and got out of the truck.

The keys were bait even though Ennis could just walk home.

Despite that, Ennis got out of the truck and followed Jack inside. It was a silent trip up to Jack's room. Ennis was a bit afraid that tonight things had been pushed too far. They had rushed into this four years ago and now they were facing the consequences of it.

Jack walked into the room first. Ennis followed, letting the door swing closed behind him. Jack turned on one light, putting Ennis' keys and the room key on the table.

The room was small with only one bed. The bathroom to Ennis' left made the room seem even smaller.

Jack looked at him, clearly noticing that Ennis was only three steps from the door. Feeling a bit self concious, Ennis stepped further into the room.

And waited there. Silent.

Jack took off his jacket and draped it over the back of the chair at the table. "You're actin' as if you're my next target of my killing spree," he said.

Ennis said nothing. Even with the short time they had known each other, Jack had the power to end Ennis' life completely without killing him.

Jack opened his mouth to say something, but didn't. He walked over to Ennis. Ennis knew what was coming next and wasn't prepared for the heartbreak no matter how much he was telling himself otherwise.

He could only take so much loss in a single day and finding Mrs. Gregson had been way too much for him. He wouldn't let anyone see that, though.

Ennis tensed, but instead of saying goodbye, Jack kissed him. It was slow, but had more feeling behind it than anything. Like that moment in the hospital, Ennis' heart pounded against his chest.

And that took over.

Ennis kissed Jack back, putting all the fear and pain he felt today into it. He didn't want to use Jack like this, but since Jack was willingly offering that comfort, it was okay. Ennis was opening himself fully to Jack.

Jack grabbed him, pulling him closer. Without breaking the kiss, he pushed Ennis' jacket off, leaving it in a heap on the floor. Ennis clutched Jack's shirt, feeling the muscled chest beneath. A moment later, Ennis had Jack on the bed.

Fully clothed, Ennis could only grind their hips together, needing every ounce of contact with Jack's body. Their lips never parted as Jack untucked Ennis' shirt and started unbuttoning it. And he was doing it slow on purpose. Ennis grabbed Jacks hands, stopping him. He sat up and just pulled it up over his head, leaving it half buttoned up. He pulled off his undershirt and tossed it then went back to kissing Jack. Jack's hands explored Ennis' chest.

Ennis' fingers were digging into the bed covers, taking the slowness that Jack was offering and let the anticipation build up inside him. He let go when Jack rolled them over so he was now lying there between Ennis' legs. Jack broke the kiss only long enough for Ennis to pull his shirt off and toss it. They looked into each others eyes before their lips mashed together hungrily.

Jack's hands moved down to unclasp Ennis' belt. Ennis laid back as Jack got off of him. He pulled Ennis' shoes off then tugged down his pants. Ennis lifted his hips and pushed his pants and underwear off to help. As he laid back, Jack was back on top of him. Ennis' already rock hard erection was pressed against the equally hard bulge at the front of Jacks jeans. Desire coursed down through Ennis' body as they rubbed against each other.

Jack stood up to hurriedly rid himself of the rest of his clothes. Ennis sat up, undoing Jacks jeans as Jack took off his shoes. Ennis kissed Jack's well toned stomach as Jack rid himself of the rest of his clothes. Ennis' lips explored Jack's chest as his hand lightly grazed along Jacks erection then down over his balls then further between his legs. Jack shifted slightly, spreading his legs more. Ennis probed Jack's entrance as Jack let out a satisfied sigh, letting Ennis know he was enjoying this.

This was a first time for Ennis, but with Jack, everything just seemed to come naturally. Ennis laid back, pulling Jack back down to lay atop him. Their dicks brushed against the other as Jack slowly moved agains Ennis' body. Jack kissed along his jaw then down his neck. Ennis' hands moved along Jack's back and shoulders. Even with them both completely naked, he couldn't get enough contact.

Jack's lips traveled up again and Ennis felt his warm breath against his ear. "Fuck me," Jack whispered. Ennis' heartbeat picked up a bit. Jack rolled them back over and Ennis found himself positioned between Jack's legs.

Ennis spit in his hand to prepare then took hold of his cock and pushed it against Jack's entrance. Slowly, bit by bit, Ennis managed to get inside Jack completely. Jack groaned at the discomfort, but the pain slowly turned to pleasure as Ennis started moving. Ennis didn't want to hurt him, so he took his time. Despite the fact that he just wanted to take over and fuck the other mindless.

"Ennis," Jack moaned, moving with Ennis.

Ennis looked down and pushed Jacks legs apart a bit more as his thrusts quickened. He didn't make a sound, but he was getting enough out of Jack. And as that desire began to build stronger, Ennis' moans were joining Jacks. Ennis leaned forward slightly to get more momentum as he thrusted in and out of Jack. Jack pulled him down, wrapping his legs around Ennis' waist and pulling him in deeper. Their lips met once again.

The moment was getting closer, but Ennis didn't want it to end. But he couldn't stop it now that it was so close. He reached between them to grab Jack's cock. Jack was moaning louldy, clinging to Ennis for dear life as Ennis stroked him to a climax. Ennis propped himself up then fucked Jack until Ennis was cumming deep inside him.

After they were finished, Ennis rolled off to lay next to Jack. Ennis was exhausted after so much exertion and fell asleep rather quickly. Jack wasn't far behind. 


	8. A Bright Future

Ennis woke up the next morning to see Jack sitting at the table, fully dressed complete with a jacket. He got the feeling that Jack had been somewhere. Jack put out his cigarette when he saw that Ennis was awake.

"You're cute when you're paranoid," Jack said with a smile. The words didn't make any sense to Ennis. Jack got to his feet, pushing the chair in.

"What do you mean?" Ennis asked, pushing himself up into a sitting position. Jack laid down on the bed beside him. He still had that smile on his face.

"I saw Joe Aguirre this mornin'," Jack said which put an instant fear into Ennis. "We got some coffee and the best part was, we got to talk."

Ennis looked away from Jack. His fears of the night before were taking over again. He didn't want to know what had gone on during that talk with Joe. It couldn't be anything good.

Jack sat up close to Ennis. "He was disappointed we left so early," he said. "I didn't have to say nothin', but I got everything cleared up."

Ennis forced himself to look over at Jack. "And?" he asked.

That smile hadn't left Jack's face yet. Didn't he know how serious this was? "Ennis, all that worryin' you went through last night was all in your head," he said. "I managed to learn that he had quietly told his wife about the present MAG GOT him last night." He put emphasis on those words as if they meant everything.

Ennis picked at the fabric of the blanket as he looked at Jack. "I didn't hear-"

"You might've thought you heard somethin' else, but it was nothing," Jack said. "He wants to talk to you sometime about the store. It's still yours. Him and his wife are movin' and he trusts you more than anyone with that store."

Ennis laid back down. "How can you tell me I was overreacting over nothin' last night and act like it's no big deal?" he asked. He had been so sure of what went on at that party. They had sounded suspicious!

Maybe he WAS paranoid.

"You'll get used to it," Jack said. 'It' being them, of course. "You wanna get some breakfast?"

Ennis stared up at the ceiling. "Don't have much of an appetite right now," he said. "I gotta get home and feed them cats." He sat up and looked at Jack. "Do you think-"

"You're not an idiot," Jack said, leaning over to grab Ennis' clothes off the floor. He dropped them on the bed then looked at Ennis. "Want me to come over?"

Ennis shook his head as he stood up and started getting dressed. "Hopefully I still got my time off," he said. "I gotta do some house cleanin' before my sister and her family gets here." He tucked in his shirt and looked at Jack. "I'll call you for lunch, all right?"

Jack nodded. "I gotta go shoppin' for some things anyway," he said, getting to his feet. "Your place for lunch?" He had a slight grin on his face.

Ennis shook his head slightly. "If you're a good boy," he said, grabbing his jacket.

Jack's grin broadened. "Then you're never gettin' me for lunch," he said.

Ennis smirked then grabbed Jack by his jacket and yanked him toward him and kissed him. Jack kissed him back with no hesitation, trying to subtly unbutton Ennis' shirt. Ennis pushed him away. "You're pushin' it." Jack just grinned.

Ennis grabbed his keys off the table after he put his jacket on the turned and left. He hopped in his truck and drove back home. He couldn't stop thinking about the near panic attack he had put himself into at the party last night. And now that he thought about it, he felt ridiculous for even thinking the way he had. Though, if they had stayed at that party even longer, he and Jack would never have ended up in Jacks room last night. They'd be too exhausted from the drive.

He parked the truck at his house, gazing curiously at the car parked there. He didn't recognize it. As he got out of the truck and started toward the door, a very familiar someone came bounding out of the house. His sister. And she had a big smile on her face as she hugged him.

"Surprise!" she said as she stepped back. "Roger and the kids are comin' out later, but Mom and I couldn't wait."

"Mom?" Ennis asked and that was the moment his mom came walking out of the house. He gave her a hug in greeting. "How'd you get in the house?"

"It wasn't locked," his sister replied. "Do you ever lock up?"

Ennis shrugged his shoulders. "I ain't got nothin' worth stealin'," he said.

His sister smiled. "Of course," he said. "Mom just got through makin' breakfast." She grabbed his arm and they headed inside. His mom scolded him about leaving the kitchen in a mess, but there was no harshness behind her words.

And as mom cooked, his sister pulled him off to another room to speak privately. "So when do I get to meet Jack?" she asked.

"I don't know," Ennis said, actually wishing she had come by when Jack wasn't here. That was a bit mean, but he couldn't help it. This wasn't fear over the fact that Jack was another guy. This was the fact that he was afraid his sister wouldn't like Jack. But who couldn't like Jack?

His sister sighed with a slight shake of her head. "You're gettin' away with it for now, but I will meet 'im before the days out," she warned.

"And what are we gonna do about mom then?"

"Tell her."

"I don't-"

"How long do you think this is gonna go on all quiet like?" she asked, crossing her arms. "Sooner or later you'll have to tell mom before she hooks you up with some slut on a blind date."

"Mom ain't like that," Ennis said since she hadn't done all that much for him while he was growing up. She was getting better after he had come home from finding himself, but there was still that distance. "I can pull off not tellin' her."

"Until she gets in contact with Alma's folks."

Alma was a girl he had gone out with a couple of times in highschool. Contact with her had ceased completely after K.E.'s death and she had moved on rather quickly, he had noticed.

"If you don't tell her, I will," she said. "And she won't say anything bad to you, you know that. Living around me has changed her. For the better, I might add. You'll be surprised with what she accepts." She turned and went back into the kitchen, leaving Ennis standing there to think about what he was going to do.

Ennis didn't think about it long. He walked back into the kitchen where his mom and sister were setting everything out on the table. Ennis sat down to eat after them.

And while they ate, Ennis told his mom about Jack. She sat there silently until he was finished. She took it alot better than he expected. She was surprised, but she accepted the way he was because he was her son and she loved him very much.

And the way he had been raised was shattered completely before his eyes. Jack had been kicked out by his parents and he had been expecting the same treatment here. But, as his sister said, his mom lived in a different enviroment now and was exposed to alot more than what went on in this small town. Made him think differently about the path he was traveling down with Jack. There was a bit of a bright future ahead now.

Ennis spent the day with his mom and sister. He forgot about his lunch with Jack and ended up calling him for supper. His mom went out to spend the evening on her own and Jack came over to have supper with Ennis and his sister. Ennis worried for a little while, but his sister liked Jack from the start.

"It's a relief to finally meet you," she said as they sat around the table. "I've been wanting to meet the person that helped Ennis find himself for the last four years."

"I can't take all the credit for that," Jack said then looked at Ennis. "Can I?"

Ennis rolled his eyes, which made his sister laugh.

"So, where ya from, Jack?" she asked, serious again.

"Lightning Flat," Jack replied. "But now I'm just from around. I've been stationed in Texas for the last few months."

"Yeah, you mentioned somethin' about the army," she said. "You haven't got sent anywhere?"

Jack shook his head. "For now," he said. "I don't know what I'm gonna run into when I get back."

Ennis wasn't looking forward to that moment. Jack leaving OR Jack getting sent overseas. He wanted to make the time they had here count just as much as Jack did. The time they had here couldn't be wasted and Ennis had nearly done so yesterday. He pushed those memories away, forgetting rather than dwelling. He still felt like an idiot for what happened at the party.

"If you're here when my husband gets back, we should double date," she said then looked at Ennis with a smile. "Wouldn't that be fun?"

Ennis nodded his head. "Swell." He relaxed a bit when Jack rested his arm against the back of Ennis' chair.

They talked for another couple of hours. She liked to hear about Jack's life and mentioned two or three times that he and Ennis looked together. A comment Ennis took with just a nod of his head, but both she and Jack could see that he liked to hear it.

Ennis didn't give Jack a ride home later that night. His mom called to let him know she got a hotel room. His sister got the only guest room. Jack followed Ennis into his room. Ennis made sure to lock the door before he was in Jack's arms, kissing him.

Nothing was said about the nights events. Jack pulled Ennis down onto the bed and it was a long time before they got to sleep.  



	9. Hopeless?

Waking up next to Jack in the morning was the best feeling Ennis had after everything that had happened the day before. He had found happiness up on Brokeback four years ago, but nothing compared to the happiness he felt now. Maybe it was about time to change things.

Jack was still sleeping. Ennis was just about to wake him up when their was a light knock at the door. Jack rolled over without waking. Ennis heard his sister's muffled voice outside the door. "Dad's here." Panic gripped him once again.

Ennis got out of bed and dressed, letting Jack sleep. He quietly left the room then headed downstairs. His sister was sitting on the couch, an unreadable expression on her face. His father, Kyle Del Mar, was standing there, watching Ennis as Ennis walked the rest of the way down the stairs. "What's up?" Ennis asked, glancing at his sister once again, who was now looking away from them both.

"I ran into your mother yesterday," Kyle said, getting Ennis' attention back on him. "She had alot to say." His expression was easily read. Disappointment. Hate?

Ennis was hoping now that Jack would stay asleep upstairs. There was no other reason for this sort of visit. Ennis had thought his father would accept it just as much as the rest of his family and the fact that he had been wrong was as if reality had slapped him in the face.

"And right under my own nose!" Kyle said, that anger building in his voice. He pointed a finger at Ennis. "I swear to God I raised you better than this!"

Ennis was instantly on the offensive. "Well, ain't that a bunch of bullshit?"

Kyle lowered his hand. "Don't use that attitude with me, boy," he said. "You know better."

"How do you know?" Ennis asked, taking a few steps forward. "For eighteen years you didn't give a damn about me 'til I 'found myself.'"

"That's not true."

"You know it is," Ennis said. He would usually control his temper, but this was about Jack. He didn't know what his mom had said, but he knew she hadn't intended for this to come out of it. It must have slipped or else she thought her ex-husband already knew. "You were always more proud of K.E. and your little girl."

"Because they had their life set," Kyle said. "They knew what they wanted to do. They didn't go runnin' off to some damn stranger!"

"I didn't run off to anybody!" Ennis said. "I ran away from you!" It wasn't until that moment he realized he was speaking the truth. Running off hadn't been just about him. It was also to get away from his parents.

"And you have to wonder why we were more proud of your brother and sister."

"I never wondered why," Ennis said. "I knew! Even more so after K.E.'s death. I knew I would never live up to the standards you made for him."

"And now you never will."

Ennis stepped forward then stopped when his sister stepped between them. "Stop it," she said, her eyes on Ennis as if she knew what he was going to do. She looked at their father. "You left him alone. You have no right to judge his life now."

"I'm his father," Kyle said, his anger still there. "I should have made him into a man years ago. Too late now."

Ennis moved around his sister, but didn't make it to Kyle. She put her hands against his chest, pushing him back "Ennis," she said a bit warningly then stepped away from him.

"You better be glad your momma told me," Kyle said, sending an icy glare Ennis' way. "Even she isn't comfortable with the idea of out boy fuckin' another man."

That was enough for Ennis. "Get the hell out of my house!" he yelled, looking at Kyle and pointing at the door as he stepped forward.

Kyle stood his ground, not the least bit intimidated. "You're the one ridin' off to Hell, fag-"

Ennis heard his sister scream out as he punched Kyle. Their father went down, spitting out blood as he lay there on the floor.

"Now get the fuck outta my house," Ennis said, yanking Kyle to his feet then shoving him toward the door. Kyle glared at him then turned and walked out the door, slamming the door closed behind him.

Ennis just stood there for a moment silent. His sister stepped forward, obviously to comfort him somehow. He turned away from her and started for the stairs, knowing if he locked himself up from the world things could get better.

He froze when he saw Jack standing on the stairs, his eyes on Ennis. From the look on Jacks face, Ennis knew he had seen everything. Ennis grabbed his jacket then left the house.

Jack watched as Ennis left. He had come downstairs to see what all the yelling was about. He never imagined he would walk downstairs and witness a confrontation between Ennis and his father. And all because of him. Made Ennis' worrys at the Joe's party not as silly anymore. Things like this could get really serious real fast.

"Go after him."

Jack looked at Ennis' sister, who was pointing at the door. "You're not just gonna let him run away, are you?"

"I don't wanna do more harm than good," Jack said. This was a delicate time for Ennis right now. Maybe he just needed to be alone.

She lowered her arm without a word. She just stood there, watching him.

"Fuck it," Jack said then hurried upstairs to get his jacket. 


	10. I Won't Regret It

The sky was cloudy, the wind blowing in a coming storm. It wasn't that cold, but Jack had a slight shiver when he finally found Ennis.

Ennis was standing alone in the cemetary. And as Jack neared, he noticed that Ennis was standing at his brothers grave. He hesitated a moment, not wanting to intrude upon anything. Ennis hadn't come here in years. Jack knew he and his brother were close and it was respectful to leave Ennis alone until otherwise said.

"I don't know what the fuck's wrong with me," Ennis said, breaking the silence. He knew Jack was there without even looking. "My life ain't holdin' me here." He shook his head.

Jack slowly walked over to stand beside Ennis, facing him. "Took your dad to realize that?" he asked, not trying to be mean, but he just had to admit that the man was an asshole.

Ennis didn't say anything for a moment then slowly nodded. "How fast do you think I can leave town?"

"We could go right now," Jack said, smiling when he got a smile out of Ennis. He became serious. "But will you regret it later?"

Ennis was silent, contemplating. Jacks hopes still had a bit of doubt since he wasn't sure what Ennis' decision would be. And that scared him because Ennis was his life. His entire world would end if Ennis decided he just wasn't enough.

"I won't regret it," Ennis said with a shake of his head. "You know why?" He looked over at Jack. "Because I love you."

Jack was taken aback by the confession he had been wanting to make time and time again. Knowing Ennis felt the exact same way made everything better. There couldn't be any more doubts between them. Ennis had taken that next step. And Jack would follow him down that path.

"I love you," Jack said, stepping toward Ennis. "Even if you decide that you think runnin' away from me'll fix your problems."

"If I run," Ennis said. "You're provin' right now that you'll come runnin' after me." He grabbed Jack by his jacket and pulled him closer.

Before their lips met, it started raining. It wasn't too long before it was pouring. Jack smiled, gave Ennis a quick kiss then grabbed his arm and hurried off.

They ended up in Jack's hotel room.

Ennis stepped into the bathroom to rid himself of his wet clothes while Jack called for some extra towels. Ennis dropped his clothes into a heavy wet pile then grabbed the towel to dry off. He heard the door open then close as the towels arrived but Jack didn't walk into the bathroom. He pushed away the arguement he had had with his father as he wrapped the towel around his waist and stepped out of the bathroom.

He leaned against the wall near the bathroom door, seeing Jack standing at the heater. Still dressed even though he was completely soaked. Ennis smirked, reading the clear invitation for this. He pushed away from the wall and walked over to Jack. Without saying a word, he helped Jack remove the wet clothes. Jack never took his eyes off of Ennis. It wasn't long before Jack was naked. Ennis grabbed one of the towels that had been brought in.

Jack placed his hand on Ennis' arm. Jack's hand was cold from the rain. The heater blew against their skin, warming Ennis even more. He let go of the towel and grabbed Jack, kissing him. Jack kissed him back, grabbing Ennis and backing him up toward the bed. They fell on the bed, making it creak. Jack's cock pressed against the towel around Ennis, making them both squirm in need.

Suddenly Jack climbed off of him, kneeling down as he yanked the towel off of Ennis. Ennis let out a low moan as Jack took him into his mouth. A sensation Ennis had never felt before, but it felt so good. And Jack didn't let it last long on purpose. He moved back up on Ennis, kissing him again. Sex was good, but Ennis just couldn't get enough of Jack's lips.

Jack suddenly broke the kiss, pulling away. "Think we need to call your sister before she starts worrying?" he asked, looking down at Ennis with those blue eyes he could get lost in.

"I don't think she'll worry," Ennis said, a bit hopefully. Though now he was just starting to think that she was thinking he had run out of town again. "Shit." He pushed Jack off of him then got up and headed into the bathroom for his phone. He pulled it out of his jacket pocket. Thankfully it was dry and perfectly fine. He dialed his sisters number.

Jack walked into the bathroom behind him, slipping his arms around Ennis and planting kisses along Ennis' back and shoulders. Making it extremely hard for Ennis to concentrate as he listened to the phone ring. Thankfully she picked up after two rings.

"Just to let you know," Ennis said before she could say anything. "I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me."

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed. "You left town again!"

"No!" Ennis said quickly, a shiver running down his spine as Jack slowly ran his fingers down Ennis' chest and stomach then back up again. "Hopefully you're not expectin' me back at the house anytime soon."

"A little too much information there, Ennis," she said, putting the pieces together quickly. He didn't think his statement had been THAT obvious. "Just don't play out in the rain and come back sick."

Jack kissed along Ennis' neck, holding him close. "Yeah, okay," he said then hung up the phone and dropped it down next to the sink. It was amazing it hadn't broke. "Jack."

"I just wanna make you squirm," Jack said, his breath against Ennis' ear. He moved his hand slowly down Ennis' stomach and lower. "How am I doin'?"

Ennis reached back, placing his hand on Jacks hip. "You keep delayin', I swear..." He trailed off, closing his eyes in ecstasy as Jack stroked him.

"It'll be worth it," Jack said. Ennis opened his eyes and saw the grin on Jacks face in the mirror. He moved them forward and Ennis could feel Jacks erection against his ass. A different desire coursing through his body. And Jack either picked up on it, or else he would've asked permission to.

Ennis leaned forward over the sink, feeling Jack's hand on his back. He lowered his head, grabbing onto the sink as Jack fingered his entrance. Ennis was a bit nervous about this, but there was no way he could say no to something he could feel he wanted. A low groan escaped him as Jack pushed his finger in deep then back out. Ennis spread his legs slightly as Jack continued to move his finger in and out. Ennis forced himself to relax as Jack added another finger. Jack rubbed his back with his other hand, helping Ennis relax.

Then Jack's fingers were gone. Ennis gripped the faucet tightly as Jack pushed himself inside Ennis. He had expected it to hurt, but it really wasn't all that bad. He moved back against Jack as Jack pushed all the way inside. Jack rested his head against Ennis' back, letting them both adjust to the feeling before he started moving. Ennis closed his eyes as Jack thrust himself in and out of Ennis. Ennis moaned, reaching back and grabbing Jack's hand. Their fingers intertwined as Jack moved slowly. Ennis leaned forward a bit more, resting his head against the sink as Jack repeatedly hit the spot that nearly took him completely over the edge.

"Shit," Ennis murmured, moving back against Jack to let the other know to pick up the pace a little. Jack got the picture easily and soon he was fucking Ennis hard. Ennis took it, enjoying the feeling that was coursing through his body. If he hadn't been clinging to the sink, he would've collapsed right then and there.

Jack leaned forward, his chest against Ennis' back as he groaned out a climax, emptying inside Ennis. Ennis wasn't far behind. He came, shooting onto the floor beneath the sink. They stood there for a moment, both breathing heavily. Then Jack pulled out and stepped away.

Ennis followed him out of the bathroom and to the bed where Ennis took over. Their love making was sweet and tender, Ennis dragging it out to let it last longer. But, desire usually took over and pretty soon they were laying on the bed in each others arms, content to be where they were.

"So, you're positive about leavin'?" Jack asked, breaking the silence. The rain had stopped as the day dragged on into late afternoon.

"If you keep askin', I might change my mind," Ennis said, idly stroking the dark hair on Jacks chest. "Stayin' here don't appeal to me any more."

"Because of your dad?"

Ennis rested his hand on Jack's chest then lifted his head to look into that blue eyed gaze. "This ain't about him," he said. "Sure, I'm leavin' to get away from this damn town, but mostly...I just wanna be with you." And he would keep on wanting just that for the rest of his life. He couldn't keep running away from his feelings when he knew what he wanted. He had to stop thinking about what he thought he wanted. And what he thought he had wanted all this time was to stay in this town for the rest of his life because he couldn't handle being anywhere. K.E. had held him back. K.E. and guilt. But no longer.

"And if I get sent overseas?"

Ennis didn't want to think about Jack going off to war, but he had to face reality sooner or later. "Like I told you before," he said. "I ain't goin' anywhere." The night he had first told Jack that, he hadn't even been sure of what he meant by it. Now there was a deeper meaning behind it.

Jack smiled then moved toward Ennis and kissed him. Ennis moved his hand up Jacks chest, deepening the kiss as he moved to lay atop Jack. Neither of them were hard, but they didn't need to be. Kissing Jack was enough to make Ennis weak. And Jack pulled off the disappointed look really well when Ennis broke the kiss then got to his feet.

"I've gotta get home and pack," Ennis said, running into the bathroom, picking up his wet clothes. He hung them in front of the heater to dry, feeling Jack's eyes on his back the whole time. "I wanna get packed in time."

"You've got time."

"Jack fuckin' Twist," Ennis muttered then shook his head and turned to Jack. "Clothes ain't dry anyway." He joined Jack on the bed again. 


	11. A Call

Ennis left Jack's hotel room later that evening. His clothes were still a little damp, but it didn't really matter. It was no longer raining outside. He made it back home rather quickly. His mom was at the house, eating supper with his sister. He pulled off his jacket then walked into the kitchen, a little nervous about breaking the news to them. He was thankful coffee had been made and poured himself a cup.

"How's Jack?" his sister asked, breaking the silence. When Ennis looked at her, she had a teasing grin on her face. His mom decided not to participate with that.

Ennis picked up his coffee cup, turning around and leaning against the counter. "He's fine," he said, not wanting to put his mother into any awkward position.

His sister put a serious look on her face. "And you?"

Ennis looked down into his coffee then nodded his head and looked at her. "I'm fine, too," he said. "Better than I've ever been."

His sister smiled once again with a nod of her own. "Good," she said. "If you decide to leave, know that there's always room with me and my family."

"I know," Ennis said. He hadn't really decided where he and Jack were going to go, but over to his sisters place might be a good start. He pushed away from the counter and sat down at the table. "Mom-"

"I didn't mean to tell him," his mom said, referring to her ex-husband. She looked at Ennis. "It just slipped out. And if I find out that he's touched you again-"

Ennis reached over, placing his hand on her arm. "I ain't gonna see him again 'cause I'm leavin' town," he told her. "This town is too much for me." He pulled his hand back and leaned back in his seat. "I should've left a long time ago."

"If you had gone to college like everyone else," his sister told him. "You wouldn't be goin' through all this shit now."

Ennis looked over at her. "If I had gone to college," he said. "I wouldn't've met Jack Twist." He gave her a 'Top that' look then took a drink of his coffee.

"I better get the chance to meet this Jack Twist before y'all leave town," his mom said. "As a mother, it's my duty to meet my children's significant other."

Ennis set his mug down, opening his mouth to say something then looked over his shoulder when the doorbell rang. He smiled then looked back at his mom. "You can meet 'im right now," he said then got to his feet and headed toward the door. He opened it to see Jack standing there, wearing completely dry clothes. "You got here at the right time. Come on in." He stepped back, opening the door wider.

"Ennis," Jack stepped forward, grabbing Ennis' arm and pulling him back. "We gotta talk."

Ennis looked at him, the smile fading from his face when he got the feeling that something had changed since he had left Jack's hotel room. "About?" he asked, almost afraid of the answer.

Jack didn't let go of Ennis' arm. It was as if Ennis was his lifeline in this moment. "I got a call."

Ennis found himself unable to move a muscle. He couldn't even find his voice. He just stood there, staring at Jack. He instinctively resisted when Jack tried to pull him closer. Jack gave up with that and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. He placed his hand on the back of Ennis' neck, their foreheads touching. Ennis was still unable to move. And he hadn't even heard the worst part.

"My unit's bein' shipped out next week," Jack said, a strength in his voice that sounded like he had been working on since getting the call. "I'm leavin' in the morning."

"Jack..." Ennis closed his eyes, one hand clutching tightly to Jack's jacket. He didn't want to break down right there, but knew that feeling would overcome him sooner or later.

Jack tugged him closer. Ennis opened his eyes and looked into Jack's blue ones. "I've got a place in Texas," Jack said a bit quietly. "If you come with me, we'll have a little more time together-"

"I'll go," Ennis said with a nod of his head. He wasn't about to let Jack walk out on him again. "But you gotta promise you'll come back."

"I promise," Jack said. "I fuckin' promise." They embraced tightly. They would only have a few more days together before Jack left. Ennis wanted to believe that there was a way to keep it from happening, but there wasn't. Jack would just have to stay safe and come back home.

Ennis stepped back and turned, seeing his mom and sister standing there. Introductions were short, but Ennis could tell that his mom approved. He and Jack went upstairs to start packing for tomorrow. His mom and sister left the house to give them some time alone.

The next few hours were spent in silence. Ennis packed as much as he could, knowing he had enough time to get the rest of his things moved once they were in Texas. If they ended up staying there, that is. And as they laid on the bed together in each others arms, Ennis let out every emotion he felt since Jack came to him with the news. Jack held him as Ennis clung to him tightly amidst his sobs. The emptiness he had felt without Jack was returning with more force. But Jack didn't let him go. After some time, Ennis calmed and fell asleep in Jacks arms.

Jack stayed awake, watching Ennis. He knew how tough Ennis could be and Jack had never seen him cry before. Tears came to his eyes because he would be leaving this man alone again. After growing even closer during this time, how the hell would he last even one day without Ennis? How had he stayed away for four years? Ennis needed him just as much as he needed Ennis.

He lifted his head, gently wiping away the tears that had formed on Ennis' cheeks. Ennis shifted slightly in his sleep, but didn't wake up. Jack moved so he was lying facing Ennis. He had to find some way to stay with his man. He knew he had a duty to his country, but he had a duty at home, too. And leaving would kill Ennis in a form that would take a long time to heal. Jack couldn't do that to him.

As if he knew he was being watched, Ennis woke up, opening his eyes and looking at Jack. "Hey," he mumbled then yawned, shifting into a more comfortable position on the bed. One arm moved up to hug the pillow.

Jack reached over, slowly rubbing Ennis' back. Ennis moved in appreciation, shifting closer to Jack. Their legs touched. Jack rubbed their legs together then hooked his leg over Ennis'. Ennis buried his face in his pillow. Jack gave a small smile then started kissing up Ennis' arm, pulling Ennis' T-shirt up and moving his cool fingers against warm skin. Ennis moved his arm as Jack kissed along his neck, gently tugging on Ennis' earlobe with his teeth.

"Come 'ere," Ennis said, rolling over and grabbing Jack, pulling him on top of him. They kissed again with more fervor than before.

Jack broke the kiss, his face hovering there inches above Ennis'. "I wanna get married," he said. Just as he expected, his words took Ennis completely by surprise.

"What?" Ennis asked, his eyes staring into Jacks. "We haven't even dated that often."

"I've been fallin' in love with you the last four years."

"Is this cuz you're bein' shipped off next week?"

Jack didn't have an answer for that. He wanted it to feel like he was proposing marriage because he loved Ennis and wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. Not because of the fact that he might die and leave Ennis completely alone over here. But, could that be a reason?

"Ask me again when you come home," Ennis said, obviously not needing an answer. It was either obvious or he just wasn't yet ready to take an even bigger step with Jack. He had only just said he loved Jack that morning. Were they moving too fast for this?

Jack rolled off of Ennis, laying on his back as Ennis rolled over onto his side his back to Jack. Neither of them said anything and pretty soon they both drifted off to sleep.

The next morning Ennis was up before Jack. He loaded his bags into the back of the truck. His mom and sister came over, fixing a quick breakfast before he and Jack headed off to Texas. They'd head to the airport an hour and a half away then be in Texas by that afternoon. His mom and sister would follow behind them since they also had a flight to catch to get back home. Ennis had called Aguirre with the news that he was leaving and hoped Aguirre would find someone else for the store. The cats that came and went, Ennis had taken them down to the shelter earlier where they would be better taken care of. The rest of his things would be shipped off to storage. He would come back later for his truck. Things were taken care of in town, ready for him to leave.

Ennis finished loading up the truck and headed back inside. He hung his coat and hat on the hook by the door then went into the kitchen. Breakfast was ready when he walked in.

"You gonna get Jack up?" his sister asked, sitting down at the table. "Y'all don't wanna be late because he wasn't ready."

After the night before, Ennis wasn't yet ready to be alone with Jack again. The idea of getting married scared him more than anything else. Because he had his mom and sister as examples. His parents were divorced. His sister had a healthy marriage that was going to last forever. He didn't know how he and Jack would turn out. He loved Jack. That wasn't going to change, but that fear still clung to him. Maybe getting out of town would help with that, also.

"I'll get 'im," Ennis said, then turned and headed upstairs. He stopped in the doorway of his bedroom and looked at Jack asleep on the bed. He hoped he hadn't hurt Jack too much last night.

Jack shifted on the bed slightly as Ennis walked over and sat down beside him. He placed his hand on Jacks shoulder, gently shaking him awake. "Time to get up, bud," he said. "Got a flight to catch in a few hours."

Jack opened his eyes, yawning then focused on Ennis. "I don't feel like goin'," he said then rolled over to go back to sleep.

"Jack," Ennis said with a small sigh. "You gotta do your country proud." Despite the fact that it hurt to know that Jack was leaving, he was proud that Jack was doing something for the country. He shook Jack again. "C'mon, breakfasts on the table."

Jack groaned, burying his head under the pillow.

Ennis was being incredibly patient with this. He got to his feet. "Guess I'm not leavin' town after all," he said, knowing this had to get a reaction out of Jack. "Maybe I'll meet a nice girl and settle down-"

"I'm fuckin' up already!" Jack said, pushing himself up onto his knees on the bed. He was hugging the pillow to his chest. He looked at Ennis as he climbed off the bed. "You fuckin' asshole-"

Ennis grinned then cut him off with a kiss. The pillow was dropped and Ennis was pulled closer as Jack grabbed his shirt. Ennis was sorely tempted to shove Jack back onto the bed but resisted the temptation and broke the kiss. "Come on," he muttered then left the room and headed back downstairs.

Jack followed after him. The four of them gathered around the table for breakfast, finishing it up a few minutes later. Ennis and Jack headed out first, letting his mom and sister lock up the house. It was a long and silent drive to the airport. Jack didn't bring up the marriage thing even though Ennis expected him to. Apparently, Jack was set on asking again when he got back home. If he got back home. No matter what, that 'if' will always remain there until Jack was either killed or discharged.

At the airport, it didn't take long to get the truck unloaded then dragged inside. Pretty soon they were boarding then on their way to Texas. 


	12. Paradise

Jack slept most of the flight. Ennis' mind just couldn't stop going over and over the fact that Jack was leaving in a week. He knew going to Texas was the right choice, he had felt that in his heart. He also knew that he wasn't ready to let Jack go. He didn't want to think about Jack leaving him again. He already felt an empty hole in his chest and Jack was still there with him. Why couldn't he get a hold of himself?

"Ennis?" Ennis was pulled out of his thoughts by Jack's voice. "You okay?"

Ennis looked over at him to find those blue eyes studying him intently. He nodded his head. "Yeah," he said, providing that as his only answer since he wasn't too sure he was completely okay.

Jack shifted in his seat, taking Ennis' hand in his own and leaning toward him. "Everything's gonna be okay," he said, holding Ennis' hand tightly. "Just trust me. We'll get through this. Even if we have to run away-"

"Jack," Ennis said. He wouldn't let Jack run out on this. Who knew what sort of trouble he could get himself into. He closed his eyes as Jack's forehead touched his. He gripped Jack's hand a bit tighter. He was going to do his best to make the best of what they had left together this week. Give them both something to look forward to and hold onto and maybe give Jack the intent on surviving and coming back home even if that was already obvious for him to do.

They parted when the passengers were informed that the plane was coming in for a landing. Ennis sat back and buckled up, looking out the window as the plane landed. Excitement and anxiety rose in Ennis, helping him forget about the fear of Jack leaving. At least for right now. Soon he would be alone with Jack in a new place, marking it as an official new start. He was nervous still about the change, but he didn't regret it. He could never regret it.

Getting off the plane and gathering up their things didn't take long. They took a cab to Jack's place. The house was simple, but in Ennis' eyes it was alot better than his old house in Wyoming. After the shit he went through there, anything was alot better. He set his bags down by the front door as he walked in while Jack went around checking things out and turning things on.

Ennis looked around, taking off his jacket and laying it on one of the suitcases. He stepped toward the coat rack, running his fingers over the jackets hanging there. He dropped his hand and turned when he heard Jack coming back.

"Well, this is it," Jack said, gesturing around. He glanced around once before settling his gaze on Ennis. "Could've gotten something better if I was on good terms with my folks-"

"Jack, I grew up in a shit town," Ennis said, a slight smirk on his face. "Don't take much to impress me."

"So you're really okay with this?"

"I came here, didn't I?" Ennis walked over to where Jack was standing a few feet away. "And now that I'm here, there ain't no way you're runnin' me off."

Jack smiled, his eyes lighting up. "You want a tour?" he asked. "I've got a great view upstairs." Ennis understood full well the invitation behind that.

"Just a tour, then rest," Ennis said. It had been his first flight and it was something he didn't want to experience again. "Then unpack."

"You're really crushin' the mood, bud."

"I know," Ennis admitted. "But, I wanna make it count instead of just rushin' things. Time flies by when you're havin' fun, after all." He grabbed his luggage then headed upstairs with Jack, who took his share of the burden.

The next few hours went by faster than Ennis had expected. Getting settled in was harder work than he thought it would be. And all of his stuff wasn't even here! He knew alot of crap would either get dumped in the trash or kept in storage. Jack had plenty of room, but Ennis didn't want to live in a cluttered house. He wasn't a neat freak, he just wanted the house to look more nice than too lived in. The only rest he got was sitting on the couch watching TV and not wanting to do anything else. Jack had ordered some pizza for supper. The empty box sat on the coffee table while some game show played on.

"Jack, I'm tired," Ennis said as Jack kissed along his jaw then down his neck. He tilted his head, too tired to lean away from Jack, who was clearly enjoying this. "You're not gonna let up, are ya?"

Jack's hand was already traveling up under Ennis' T-shirt. His breath was warm against Ennis' ear. "Tonight we'll make it count," he said, his cheek brushing against Ennis'. "First night in the house." He swung his leg over and straddled Ennis. Ennis laid his head back on the back of the couch, looking up at Jack.

Ennis didn't resist as Jack leaned forward and their lips met. His hands came up, clutching Jacks shirt and tugging him closer. Jack moved one hand down to the front of Ennis' jeans, fondling him through the fabric. Ennis squirmed beneath him with a low groan of desire. Jack enjoyed the feeling of Ennis becoming hard in his hand. It took alot of effort not to rush into the good part, but Ennis had wanted to make the time they had left special.

The time they had left...Jack didn't want to think of it that way since it sounded way too final. He planned on coming home if he couldn't find a way out of this. He felt guilty for thinking that way, but he loved Ennis too much to think unselfishly.

Jack broke the kiss and grinned at Ennis. "It's more comfortable in the bedroom," he said, stroking Ennis through his jeans before getting to his feet.

Ennis didn't move from off the couch. "Ain't right here fine?" he asked. Jack just smiled then turned and headed upstairs. Ennis was forced to follow because he wasn't letting Jack out of his sight.

He caught up with Jack at the door to the bedroom. Their lips collided before they even got into the room. Jack had Ennis pressed up against the doorjamb, pulling off Ennis' shirt and tossing it. It landed in the hallway outside the room. Ennis was already breathing heavily as Jacks lips traveled down his neck then down along his chest, flicking his tongue over Ennis' nipples. Ennis' fingers clashed against Jacks as together they unfastened Ennis' jeans. And rather quickly.

Ennis grabbed Jack by the shoulders and pulled him into the bedroom then up against the wall, kissing him again. Jack grinded his hips against Ennis, a hungry desire they were both feeling but too caught up in the moment to feed it. Ennis had Jack pinned against the wall with his entire body, one hand planted firmly on the wall next to Jack's head.

The kiss was broken and they looked into each other's eyes. Jack laid his head back, trying to get his jeans off as fast as he could. Ennis smirked then helped, shoving Jack's jeans and underwear down. He stepped back, turning Jack around to press face first against the wall. Jack complied by shoving his ass out, both hands placed flat against the wall. Ennis shoved his own jeans down then pressed close to Jack, entering him slowly and lovingly.

They moved as one, Jack grasping for anything on the wall as Ennis thrusted faster upon completion. Jack groaned as Ennis' forehead came to rest against Jacks back, cumming deep inside Jack and groaned out Jack's name.

The next few hours were spent spending time on the bed. Sleep didn't come because neither of them were tired. Mostly because Ennis was afraid that if he closed his eyes, Jack would vanish forever. Ennis kept this secret to himself even though he was pretty sure Jack was picking up on his feelings. The sex was still the same, but there was a type of desperation that Ennis was putting into it. Jack didn't say anything because he was afraid that he would end up pushing Ennis away. They were both battling their own private fears while putting every ounce of emotion into themselves and each other.

Some time later they actually did fall asleep, but Ennis woke up after a horrifying dream of Jack in war. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get back to sleep. Even with his attention fully on Jack sleeping next to him. After about an hour, Ennis quietly got out of bed. He slipped on some shorts then headed downstairs. He went into the kitchen for a glass of water. Then his night was spent memorizing every inch of the house. He didn't move or touch anything. He wanted everything to be the way Jack wanted it. Though he was pretty sure that once Jack was overseas things wouldn't remain the way Jack had left them.

"Ennis?"

Ennis hadn't realized he had dozed off at the kitchen table until Jack was waking him up the next morning. He was a bit relieved he hadn't suffered from any horrifying dreams, but was sore from sleeping at the table all night. He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He leaned back when Jack wrapped his arms around him from behind. He rested his head back against Jack's shoulder.

"I love you," Jack whispered into his ear then kissed the nape of his neck. "What do you want for breakfast?"

Ennis didn't answer. He wanted to sleep more than anything else. He jumped, startled and fully awake when Jack lightly patted his chest. Jack pulled him up off the chair and took him upstairs. Ennis climbed into bed without a word. Jack got in beside him then held him as Ennis fell asleep. Sleeping safely in Jack's loving arms kept the nightmares away.

They never left the bed that day. Ennis slept in Jack's arms most of the time. Jack slept beside him. Both of them were content just to have the other there with him. They didn't need sex to enjoy each other's company. Ennis just needed to know that Jack was there and all would be okay.

The following days passed slowly, but too quickly for them. They spent their time getting Ennis moved into the house. They went out to dinner and movies and anything else they could find to spend time at. Some nights they fell asleep sweaty after some long sex and other nights they just talked until they tired themselves out. And each morning they would take turns to make breakfast for the other. Neither of them were perfect cooks, but it was better than nothing and they had nothing to complain about.

Ennis got frequent calls from his sister and mom, but never heard from his dad. Jack had even reconciled with his parents to an extent. They were still keeping their distance from him. That didn't seem to bother Jack. He had Ennis and that was all he cared about. Nothing else could bother him.

Until the night before he was scheduled to be shipped out. 


	13. Last Night

Ennis and Jack had spent the entire day together, going out for breakfast then finding whatever else they could as the day went on. That night they saw a movie then went out for ice cream. They got back to the house around midnight. Somehow they ended up not having sex. Instead they just crawled into bed and fell asleep in each others arms.

Then Ennis woke up short of breath and trembling. He sat up. Jack remained sleeping. He didn't even stir. Ennis looked at Jack, seeing him safely at home other than the way his dream had gone. It was the same dream he had every night since getting here. As the days went by it had just gotten worse, but every time Jack had always ended up getting killed in action. Just the dream was enough to bring tears to Ennis' eyes. He wiped his eyes then quietly got out of bed and headed downstairs. Getting up and moving around the house was the only thing that calmed him down. He had never woke Jack. He had always crawled back into bed but hadn't gone back to sleep.

How could he with the fact that Jack was leaving in only a matter of hours?

Ennis got a pack of cigarettes out of Jack's jacket pocket that was draped over the back of the couch. He lit one up, dropping the rest of the pack on the couch. He took a long drag, running his fingers through his hair as he tried not to think about his dream. He ended up pacing back and forth the living room floor. The cigarette rested in the ash tray sitting on the coffee table. Nothing was calming his nerves right now. Whenever he closed his eyes he saw Jack's death. He wanted to tell himself that feeling this way was ridiculous. Alot of people that went to war came home fine.

But others didn't.

Ennis stopped pacing when the light came on. Jack stood there, his eyes on Ennis. Ennis didn't have anything to say to explain the reason he was up so late. If he knew Jack, Jack would know why without an explanation. He hadn't said anything about his dreams, but it was obvious anyway.

"Just because you come downstairs every night don't mean I don't know about it," Jack said, walking further into the room. "You think I can sleep when you can't?"

"You were asleep," Ennis pointed out. "I don't think you can fake that."

Jack walked over to where Ennis was standing. "I want to stay just as much as you want me to," he said. "If there was any way-"

"We're really goin' over this?"

"Ennis."

Ennis turned away from Jack, but Jack grabbed his arm and turned him back. Ennis didn't say anything and Jack was afraid that going off to war was hurting Ennis more than he let on. And that in turn affected Jack. Ennis was always trying to be so strong through everything. Didn't he see that he didn't have to all the time? Jack was there for him so he wouldn't have to hide and guard his feelings inside where no one could see. That was the way Ennis had been raised and that probably wouldn't change. Not unless Ennis decided to change something about it. And how long would that take? It had taken alot just to get Ennis out of his hometown.

Jack placed his hand on Ennis' cheek. Ennis closed his eyes but opened them immediately, involuntary grabbing onto Jack with both hands. He calmed a bit, knowing Jack was there, but the fear of Jack dying would never go away. Their eyes met and Ennis could see a bit of understanding in Jack's eyes.

Ennis kissed him, their lips clashing hungrily. Jack wasn't about to say that this wasn't the way to get over this since Ennis was in a fragile state right now. Besides, he wanted this just as much as Ennis did. When was the next time they'd be together, after all?

They fell backwards onto the couch as Ennis guided Jack back. Ennis broke the kiss long enough to rid Jack of the shorts he had put on for bed. Their lips met once again, tongues moving against the other, both breathing heavily with desire. Jack was hard, aching for Ennis.

Jack scooted up on the couch as Ennis got up. His eyes never left Ennis as Ennis stripped then leaned over Jack and kissed him again. Jack grabbed him and pulled him back down onto the couch then got down onto his knees on the floor then took Ennis into his mouth, one hand moving up along Ennis' stomach. Ennis laid his head on the back of the couch with a long moan, groaning as Jack's other hand grabbed the base of his cock.

"Jack," Ennis moaned, grabbing onto the couch cushions. Before he came, Jack got up and straddled him, kissing him again. Jack's hands moved along Ennis' chest as Ennis clung to Jack never wanting to ever let him go.

Jack broke the kiss, looking into Ennis' eyes. "Do whatever you want," he said, his fingers tangled in Ennis' hair at the back of his head. "I want you. I need you to fuck me right now." He moved his hips, their dicks brushing against the other.

Ennis paused then shook his head and dropped his hands away from Jack. Jack stayed there for a moment, wondering what was going on then got off Ennis as Ennis got to his feet. He settled back against the couch, looking at Ennis, who just stood there with his back to Jack. He let the silence go on a bit longer, but that was all that he could take.

"Fuck this," Jack said, pulling his shorts back on as he got to his feet. Ennis turned to him. "This better be the part you say that it won't work out and walk out that door before I start assuring you that we can work this out. Because I'm not dealing with this shit anymore." He turned and walked around the couch.

"What shit?" Ennis asked which made Jack stop. "Jack, you're leavin' in the morning. Goin' off to war where I'll probably never see you again." He spread his arms from his sides. "How come you're so calm about this while I'm sufferin' every night?"

Jack turned to him. "You think you're the only one suffering?" he asked. "You have no fuckin' idea what I've gone through ever since I got that damn call! You don't know what I go through when I wake up every night to you trembling and cryin' out in your sleep! How I stay awake every night wishing I can go to you every time you get up and magically make all of this go away!" He relaxed when he realized his hands had clenched into fists. "I keep up an outward appearance hoping it would make you feel better about all of this."

"Well, it ain't workin'!" Ennis said then sat down on the couch, his back to Jack. He knew Jack was suffering to an extent, but never would have thought he was going through so much. He had never let Ennis know. Ennis hadn't let him know either, so they were both to blame for this.

Jack walked over and sat down on the couch beside him. "Ennis, we will work this out," he said, placing his hand on Ennis' arm. "Just don't shut me out."

"I can't do anything but shut you out," Ennis said. "I don't want to put you through what I'm goin' through."

"That's the point of us," Jack said. "Let me know what you're goin' through so I can go through it with you. I love you and I want to make everything better." He turned Ennis so Ennis was looking at him. "Let's suffer together so we can get through this."

"I'm scared," Ennis said, closing his eyes as tears threatened to fall. Jack pulled him into his arms and he welcomed the embrace, leaning against Jack. "I don't want to lose you. You can convince me otherwise, but that won't stop the dreams."

"The dreams probably won't stop," Jack said. He would have dreams of his own once he was no longer with Ennis. "Just don't pay attention to them. Find a way to get through it that doesn't shut other people out."

That was easy to do with Jack here with him, but he didn't know what he was going to do once Jack was gone. "Why didn't you just leave me up on that mountain?" he asked, the words coming out before he could stop them. "I wouldn't be going through this right now."

Jack pulled back and looked at him, their eyes meeting. "Don't say that," he said. "I DID leave you and I wish I never had. Then we wouldn't be going through this right now."

Ennis just sat there. They just stared at each other for a long moment. "Marry me," Jack whispered, breaking the silence.

"Jack."

"I want to know the answer, at least, before I leave," Jack said since they wouldn't have enough time to get everything done before he was shipped out.

"Why do we need it?" Ennis asked. "It's just a piece of paper. It don't mean anything." He was just speaking through fear. A different type of fear and knew Jack had brought this up to get his mind off what had gotten him up tonight.

"It's more than just a piece of paper," Jack said. "It's a piece of paper that counts for something. A permanent way of life that no one can change."

"Tell that to my parents," Ennis said, pulling away from Jack.

Jack was actually hurt by Ennis' words. "It really doesn't matter to you?" he asked.

"It only matters to you because you're leavin'."

"You know that's not why."

"Let's talk about this when you get home," Ennis said, moving to get up.

Jack pulled him back down, pinning him back against the couch. "I ain't waitin'," he said. "Do you love me or not?"

"You know I love you," Ennis said with no hesitation.

"Then what's the problem?"

Ennis couldn't take his eyes off Jack. "I want you to have a reason to come back home," he said. "To have the will to survive."

"I already have that," Jack said. "And I will come back. I promise. I AM comin' back home to you. Now what do you have to say about it?"

Ennis sat there silent, unmoving. Jack didn't move either as he waited for the answer. And Jack deserved an answer even though they wouldn't be able to do anything until Jack got back home.

"Yes," Ennis could barely hear his words, but Jack knew exactly what he had said. "I'll marry you as long as you come back home."

Jack smiled. "You bet your ass I'm comin' back home now," he said then kissed Ennis. Ennis kissed him back, pulling Jack on top of him.

After a moment, Ennis shoved Jack off of him. They got on the floor, Jack bent over the coffee table as Ennis tugged his shorts down once again then entered him, pressing against Jacks back as he moved. He grabbed Jacks hands in his as he moved, thrusting hard and fast like he would never again do this to Jack. Tonight would definitely remain in both of their minds for the rest of their lives.

Jack was panting out Ennis' name as they both got to completion. They ended up falling asleep right there on the floor. 


	14. Goodbye

Ennis woke up alone on the floor the next morning. Panic gripped him until he heard Jack in the kitchen. He rubbed his eyes then reached for his clothes, pulling them on as Jack walked into the living room. Ennis thought about all that was said last night and could see a deeper happiness in Jack's eyes than he had ever seen before. Made it seem like today was never going to happen. That they would stay together and get married and their lives would forever be okay. Ennis would no longer suffer from those dreadful nightmares.

Real life wasn't a fairy tale.

"I was just about to get you up," Jack said, walking around the couch and over to Ennis. "My parents are gonna meet us at the airport. Your mom, sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew are also comin', but they told me to keep that a secret." He smiled as he kissed Ennis.

Ennis still didn't understand how he could be so calm about this. But, last night, Ennis HAD given him a reason to come home, so he had nothing to worry about, right? Ennis wanted to think that way, but the emptiness he felt whenever Jack wasn't around was hard to bear. And this time would be even worse.

Jack's hand traveled up Ennis' shirt as he kissed his neck. "I can join ya in the shower, if you want," he said, his breath warm against Ennis' neck. "We don't have to leave until nine-thirty." His hand roamed Ennis' chest.

Ennis shook his head, stepping away from Jack. "If I get ya in the shower, we ain't never gonna leave," he said, kissing Jack to let him know that he wasn't being rejected. The kiss lingered a bit longer before Ennis stepped back and headed upstairs.

Jack watched him go then headed back in the kitchen. His bag was ready by the door. He had gotten up a few minutes before sunrise to get everything ready that he may or may not have forgotten in the last week. He had watched Ennis sleep for a while, relieved to see him sleeping peacefully for once. Their outpour of feelings last night had fixed some things, but not all. Jack was pretty sure Ennis needed some more healing. And that wouldn't happen until Jack came home.

So, Jack had went out. He picked up the box he had gotten while he was out and just stood there pondering for a long time. He didn't know how Ennis would react, whether he'd be overjoyed or this was something to completely push him out of Jack's life for good. They loved each other, but Jack was still afraid of every move he made with Ennis.

Ennis came back downstairs after a shower and walked into the kitchen. Jack was standing there, his back to Ennis. Ennis walked over to him, slipping his arms around him from behind and resting his chin on Jack's shoulder. Jack smelled of shampoo and aftershave. A smell Ennis was going to sorely miss. He closed his eyes as Jack rested his head against Ennis'. Again, it was easy to think that Jack leaving wasn't real.

"I got somethin' for ya," Jack said, his voice quiet. Ennis opened his eyes and looked at the box that Jack was holding up. The box looked similar to a travel case or something. "You can open it now or in front of family."

Ennis let go of Jack and snatched the box out of his hand. Jack turned around in anticipation as Ennis grabbed the lid and opened it, pausing at the contents inside.

A ring.

"You did agree to marry me last night," Jack said, taking Ennis' silent the wrong way. Or was he? Ennis wasn't completely sure. "I just..." He trailed off as Ennis continued to stare at the ring and remain silent. "Ennis?"

Ennis stared at the ring a moment longer then looked at Jack, seeing those blue eyes studying him closely. "Jack-"

"You hate it!"

"Jack!"

Jack grabbed the box out of his hand, closing it back. Ennis lowered his hands as Jack frustratingly failed at getting the lid back on the small box. When he finally did, he walked past Ennis, obviously planning on taking the ring back to wherever he got it. Ennis turned and grabbed his arm, stopping him and turning him back.

"You gonna let me finish now?" Ennis asked, his eyes boring into Jack's until Jack finally nodded. He let go of Jack's arm. "I don't hate it. It just surprised me, that's all. I didn't think we were gonna be that traditional."

Jack looked at the box in his hand then back at Ennis. "It ain't that traditional," he said then opened the box back, wanting Ennis to know how serious this was for him.

Ennis took half a step back as Jack got down on one knee in front of him, holding up the box. Before Ennis could say anything, Jack asked the question in the most formal way he possibly could, "Ennis Del Mar, will you marry me?"

Ennis wanted to protest since he had already agreed to this last night, why put him through this once again? He didn't really find that fair, but he had to cut Jack some slack. After all, Jack was doing all he could to make this special. He looked at the ring then back at Jack's expecting eyes. He nodded his head and said, "Yes."

Jack smiled, taking the ring out and standing. He put the box aside as he took Ennis' left hand and slipped the ring onto his finger. Ennis looked at the ring now on his finger, still unable to believe that this was actually happening. He looked at Jack when Jack took his hand. "I love you," Jack said and Ennis didn't hesitate in saying it back.

They ate breakfast and were out of the house by 9:15. Jack drove to the airport and they met up with his parents and Ennis' family inside. His sister made a giant fit over the ring she spotted on his finger, that he had tried to hide from her. Jack's parents didn't look too happy about the news that Jack and Ennis were getting married, but they at least looked like they wanted to get used to it. After nearly five years, Jack's parents had certainly warmed up to the fact that their son was in love with a man. Ennis' mom was happy for them both and gave them each a hug.

Part of Ennis was relieved when it was time for Jack to go. Getting married was no longer the subject at hand. Jack gave each of his parents a long, goodbye hug. He did the same with Ennis' mom and sister. Ennis' brother-in-law got a handshake. And even though Jack had never met his niece and nephew, he got along with them really well. They fell in love with Jack immediately. Ennis was just happy that everyone was getting along so well. It never would have been like this if Ennis had remained in his hometown.

Finally, Jack turned to Ennis, whose clenched fists were stuffed into his jacket pockets. Ennis noticed out of the corner of his eye, everyone step back to give them room and as much privacy as they could here. Ennis didn't know what to say. He didn't want to say goodbye and watch as Jack walked out of his life once more. He felt a pain in his chest at that thought and knew it was going to get worse within the next couple of minutes.

Jack stepped toward him and hugged him. Ennis' arms were instantly around Jack, holding him close. His eyes squeezed shut to prevent tears from falling. He still wasn't completely comfortable with showing affection in public, but he couldn't let Jack go away with a goodbye that Ennis didn't put his whole heart into.

"I will be back," Jack promised then pulled back. There were tears in his eyes, which made Ennis break down. They clung to each other a bit longer then Ennis pulled away, wiping his face. "I love you."

Ennis looked at Jack as he said that. "I love you, too," he said, seeing tears in his mom's and sister's eyes. He ignored them then closed his eyes as Jack kissed him. Ennis grabbed him and kissed him back, no longer caring who was watching. He felt whole and complete with Jack and didn't care who saw it and knew it.

Once they parted, Jack smiled at him. "See you soon," he said, knowing that was better for Ennis to hear than a 'goodbye.' Ennis nodded his head then stepped back as Jack turned and headed off to board the plane with the other soldiers that were saying their goodbyes to their loved ones.

"You okay?" his sister asked, stepping up beside him. She hooked her arm through his.

Ennis watched Jack until he was out of sight then looked at his sister. "I believe I will be," he said since right now his world had come to a temporary halt. He still didn't know how he was going to live in that house without Jack.

She patted his arm. "He'll be back before you know it," she said then smiled wide. "And then you'll be getting married. You better let me help you plan the wedding or-"

Ennis turned, pulling her along as he headed back over to everyone else. 


	15. The Pit

The following days and nights were hell. Ennis tried to get through, but it was just hard. His sister called every evening to check up on him. While he talked to her, things were fine. It was just the silence and the lonely feeling that kept him down. He spent alot of time in the closet, sitting pressed against Jack's clothes. With closed eyes, Jack was there with him. He got through some nights easy that way. Other times he stayed in bed without even thinking about Jack. He didn't want to imagine what Jack was going through right now. He was going through enough here.

Months went by. Ennis got a few letters from Jack, getting promises that Jack would try and call as soon as he could. Ennis was still waiting for a phonecall. Less and less letters came, some of them expressing how much he missed Ennis, others promising to see him again real soon. After about a year, Ennis just got one letter once a month even though he wrote to Jack as often as he could.

Ennis ended up closing up the house and going to stay with his sister and her family for a while. He hadn't gotten a letter from Jack in a couple of months, but told himself not to worry. Maybe there were more letters on the way, they just got held up somewhere. His sister did what she could to comfort him and help him through this time, but he remained shut up and unresponsive most of the time. Her husband and children learned to keep their distance. Until finally, she had to ask Ennis to leave. He didn't mind. He had been planning on going back home to Texas anyway.

Later, he would wish he had stayed with his sister.

After nearly two years without seeing Jack, Ennis was slowly getting used to being alone. The pain that had gripped him every night wasn't as strong and at first he was afraid that he was moving on from Jack. Until he looked at the ring on his finger and everything just clicked into place and he knew where he belonged.

Then his world was shattered when he received a call. Jack was MIA. Ennis was completely broken after receiving that news. He immediately dug up all of the letters he had stashed away in the closet. He sat there, sobbing, reading through each and every one, picturing Jack's smiling face and sparkling blue eyes. The smooth tone of his voice and the feel of his body pressed close to his own. Details that were forever etched into Ennis' mind. He cried himself to sleep every night, ignoring the calls from his mom and sister. They couldn't do anything for him anyway.

Weeks went by. No news. Those weeks turned into months. Ennis was still waiting for the moment where he would hear the news that Jack had been found and everything was going to be okay.

The dreams returned. Every night Ennis woke, reaching for Jack, but finding nothing but sheets and covers. The smell of Jack against the fabric had long faded away.

Ennis felt like his life was over.

He didn't roll out of bed as he heard the doorbell ringing. After a moment, he forced himself up. He pulled on his bathrobe then went downstairs to the front door and opened it, freezing when he saw who was standing there.

"Dad."

Kyle Del Mar looked his son up and down without a word. They both stayed silent for a long time, clearly thinking about the last time they had seen each other. Alot of things had been said. Words Ennis wasn't going to apologize for or take back and knew his father felt the same way. He had been content with Kyle walking out of his life. What had brought him back? And now, of all times!

"I spoke to your mother the other day," Kyle said, clearly uncomfortable about being here. So, why was he even trying? "She told me what happened." His next words were a bit quiet, "You doin' all right?"

Ennis didn't know what to say. "I've been better," he finally replied. The answer should have already been obvious so the question shouldn't have even be asked. "What're you doin' here?"

"Thought I'd come by and see you," Kyle said. "I'm not completely heartless, you know. You're still my son."

"The son you walked out on."

"You told me to leave."

Ennis stood there silent a moment longer. "I ain't invitin' you in, if that's what you're waitin' for," he said, not wanting this house to be defiled by his father. "And I'm also not providin' an apology. As far as I'm concerned, you deserved everything that was said to you."

Kyle took a deep breath, visibly trying to calm himself. "I came here to fix things," he said. "Not sayin' I approve of it, but I want you to know that...I'm, uh...here for ya."

"Don't bother."

"Have you talked to anyone?" No answer. "You can't just let this stew inside ya, boy. Shuttin' yourself up'll do ya more harm than good. You shoulda learned that already."

"What do you want from me?" Ennis asked. "To run away, disappear, to 'find myself?' What-"

"Not run away," Kyle said. "Just to get out. You need to be around people. That's why I'm here. Not to comfort you about Jack." He treated Jack's name like bile in his mouth.

Ennis wanted to just slam the door in his father's face, but couldn't deny that his father was right. He didn't need comforting right now. He needed a distraction. So, he nodded his head and told Kyle that he would be out in a few minutes. He knew he was going to regret this decision, but what else could he do? Wallow away in grief when there was no guarantee that Jack was actually going to come home?

Showered and dressed, Ennis locked up the house then got into the car with his father. He didn't know where they were going, but didn't want to start up any sort of conversation with Kyle. Spending time with him again was enough to bring his day down even further, if that was possible.

Kyle parked the car at a bar and got out. Ennis reluctantly followed him inside. Ennis hadn't had any sort of strong drink since Jack had left. He sat down at the bar as Kyle ordered two beers. Once their drinks arrived, Ennis found himself hastily drinking it down. He knew this was the worst way to deal with his grief over Jack, but who was going to stop him? Jack? Jack was long gone, had to be. Jack had promised and had broken that promise.

What was he thinking?!

"Hey."

Ennis looked over his shoulder to see a couple of women gesturing him over. They were clad in miniskirts and hardly anything else. They looked really excited when he looked at them. He put his attention back forward when his father nudged him.

"Jack won't think less of you," Kyle said. "He's probably already fucked a dame or two overseas. You're being offered a distraction. Take it while it's there."

Ennis kept his eyes on his beer, fingers clinging tightly to the bottle. He didn't say anything. A distraction like this was a betrayal to Jack. How could he do that? He downed his beer as Kyle got him another. Was this his father's plan? Get him while he was vulnerable and try to get the son he had always wanted? A man with a good woman on his arm instead of a dick up his ass?

Right now, Ennis was fragile enough to go through with it.

Kyle patted him on the back and leaned toward him. "I won't tell anyone," he said. The words were ingrained upon Ennis, feeding an inner desire that Ennis had never before experienced.

Sexual desire. For a woman.

Ennis downed his second beer, trying to push the feelings away and stay focused on his love for Jack. That love was still there, never fading. But, it was surrounded by this entirely new feeling. Loneliness was shoving him into an entirely new direction that could only be healed with Jack's touch. A touch Ennis hadn't felt in two years.

Grabbing another drink, Ennis got to his feet. He couldn't ignore the look of pride in his father's eyes as Ennis walked over to the women, whose eyes were taking in every inch of his body and probably undressing him in their heads.

"Want a good time, hun?" one of the women asked, her arm hooked through the other womans arm. Their breasts were nearly falling out of their clothes. "We'll give you a good time." Her eyes drifted toward Kyle still at the bar. "If your friend comes along."

That immediately put him off. There was no way he could even think about bedding a woman who was also attracted to his father. He also found that he was relieved by this. He took a drink of his beer, gave the bottle to one of the women then walked past them and out the door.

Ennis was leaning against the car when his father came out a few minutes later, not looking happy at all. Apparently his plan had failed and Ennis took joy in that. The first emotion he had really felt that wasn't grief or sadness. Getting out had actually helped.

"I wanna thank ya," Ennis said before his father could say anything. "This has been a big help for me. Made me realize how much I love Jack and know that he's comin' back." He ignored the look on his father's face as he admitted his love for Jack. He wasn't going to be ashamed of it anymore. "We should really try it again sometime."

Kyle mumbled something then walked around the car and got in. Kyle took him home then left soon after.

Ennis had his ups and downs after that. He was starting to look and feel better, but there were still moments of loneliness that brought him down. He went through the motions day after day over the next few months. He went to his sister's house for Christmas but had gone back home to Texas for the New Years.

New Years Day morning, Ennis received more news.

Jack was back. 


	16. Home Now

Ennis was escorted to some military bunker there in Texas later that afternoon. He hadn't heard anything new about Jack, but he was just glad that he was alive and home. He stood there, fidgeting as he waited. His palms were sweaty and every once in a while he would wipe his hands on his jeans. His heart was already pounding against his chest and he was nearly shaking. He took a few deep, long breaths to calm himself down before he ended up giving himself a heart attack. And that wouldn't do.

He wiped his hands on his jeans one more time as he heard a door open. A few men in uniforms came out, but Ennis' attention was solely on Jack behind them. He was up and around on his own, thank god! He looked tired and walked with a bit more care, but Jack was back! And soon Jack would be in his arms once again with the last two years becoming a far distant memory.

Ennis was completely still by the time they got over to him. The men said a few hushed words to Jack then they turned and left, leaving the two alone as possibly as they could here. Ennis couldn't move as their eyes met after two very long years. Jack's blue eyes weren't as bright and took on a more haunted look. But, that didn't stop him from walking over to Ennis and putting his arms around him. Ennis returned the embrace a bit carefully. They had both been through hell the last two years, but it was Jack's turn to be fragile.

"Welcome home," Ennis said then the two of them left. Jack was quiet and remained that way as Ennis drove back to the house. He parked and got out, going over to the passenger's side when Jack didn't get out. He opened the door and crouched down. "Jack?"

Jack looked over at him. "You kept the ring." Even his voice was different.

Ennis looked down at the ring on his finger then nodded his head as he looked back at Jack. "Never took it off." He stood and took Jack's hand as he got out of the car. Ennis grabbed Jack's bag then they headed inside. Jack stopped just inside the door and looked around.

"Didn't change anything," Ennis said, setting the bag down then turning to face Jack. "I know you wouldn't've minded, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything." It was a bit odd to be the one to carry on the conversation, but he wasn't about to coax Jack into talking if he didn't want to.

Jack looked around once more then looked at Ennis. "I'm gonna sit down for a minute," he said, walking past Ennis and into the living room.

Ennis turned, watching him as Jack sat down on the couch. They would just have to take it a day at a time. He knew Jack would be back to his normal, smiling self pretty soon. Right now, he was still recovering. Ennis took Jack's bag upstairs, giving Jack his space.

The rest of the day went by like that. The first day back home was hard for them both. Ennis tried to understand, but Jack became even more distant as the days went by. They talked, but Jack never talked about what he had went through the last two years. Ennis didn't want to seem selfish but it was hard to think otherwise when Jack hadn't even touched him since he got home. And it was Ennis' turn to wake up in the middle of the night to Jack thrashing about after having a nightmare. Ennis' comforts didn't seem to work so Ennis had backed up, pained as he laid there doing nothing while Jack suffered through another dream. After about a month after he got home, Jack got out of bed after a bad dream and went downstairs so he wouldn't bother Ennis. Ennis didn't know how to tell him that Jack getting out of bed was what bothered him on those nights.

He knew how Jack felt now.

Ennis got out of bed and went downstairs. Jack was watching TV. Some documentary about birds. "Jack."

Jack looked over his shoulder at Ennis. "I couldn't sleep," he said then looked back at the TV. "You didn't have to get up. I'll be back up in a minute."

"You sure?" Ennis felt like he needed to be here with Jack.

"Don't worry, I will."

Ennis hesitated for a moment then nodded his head and went back upstairs to bed. He remained awake until Jack came back upstairs. He rolled over, pulling the covers back for Jack to crawl in. He was a bit relieved when Jack crawled into bed and scooted back against Ennis. Ennis put his arm around Jack and held him close. He laid his head down, his forehead resting against the back of Jack's head as he fell asleep.

He stretched his arm out the next morning to find Jack's side of the bed empty. Ennis heard the shower running. He rolled over onto his back and went back to sleep, stirring once when Jack got back into bed, smelling like shampoo. It wasn't until Jack took his hand and pulled his arm back around to hold him again that Ennis realized Jack was naked. Ennis' hand rested against the warmth of Jack's chest, his skin feeling like heaven to Ennis.

Ennis breathed against Jack's neck as he pressed his body closer to Jacks, a feeling he had craved and dreamed about the last two years. Ennis' hand drifted down Jack's stomach, hearing Jack's low moan as Ennis stroked his cock slowly before taking it firmly in his hand. Jack rocked back against him, his ass rubbing against Ennis' groin, getting the desired effect. Ennis didn't know why this was finally coming about, but was grateful for it. Maybe Jack had had enough time and chose today as the perfect time.

Jack turned his head enough to kiss Ennis. Ennis kissed him back as he continued to stroke Jack. Jack maneuvered onto his back and pulled Ennis on top of him. Ennis' hand moved away from Jack as he rose up and pulled off his shirt a bit slowly. Jack's eyes and hands roamed his chest before moving down to grab Ennis through his pants. Ennis shoved them down and off of him a bit quickly.

Then Jack rolled them over and kissed Ennis deeply and tenderly. Ennis' stomach flip flopped, enjoying every single feeling Jack gave him. Their love was just as powerful as it had been the last time they were together. Ennis thrusted up against Jack as Jack ground their hips together. They were both breathing heavily when their lips parted. Jack held himself over Ennis, slowly rubbing their dicks together. Ennis closed his eyes as Jack kissed him again. Ennis spread his legs, his hand moving down Jack's stomach and then guided Jack's dick to his entrance.

Ennis clung to Jack as Jack slowly entered him, both of them groaning. Ennis shifted a bit as Jack lifted his legs and started thrusting. Ennis reached behind him and grabbed the headboard with one hand, stroking his dick with the other as Jack started thrusting faster. Ennis squeezed his eyes shut, stroking in rhythm with Jack's movements. It didn't take long to bring them both to a finish.

Jack pulled out, collapsing on top of Ennis. Ennis put his arms around Jack, murmuring, "Love you," in his ear. Jack smiled and they just laid there for a long time.

Then Jack lifted his head and looked at Ennis. "They're givin' me a ceremony tomorrow," he said. "I retired from the service."

Ennis looked at him. "So you won't be goin' back?"

Jack shook his head. "I've been through enough anyway," he said, clearly thinking about his dreams. He shook his head and laid his head back down against Ennis' chest. "We should go and get it done afterwards."

Get it done. Ennis didn't have to ask what "it" was.

Jack spoke up once again after a long silence. His voice was a bit quiet. "When I went MIA," he said, his fingers playing with the hair on Ennis' chest. "I thought I was done for. I was actually expectin' the moment where I'd change to a POW." Prisoner of War. "You don't know Hell until you're completely alone."

"Jack."

Jack looked at him. "I love you," he said. "Always have, always will. If anything ever happens to me, I want you to know that."

"I know it," Ennis said with a slight nod of his head. "But ain't nothin' gonna happen to you. You're home now." He kissed Jack, who eagerly returned it.  



	17. A Bad Time

Ennis attended the ceremony the next day and watched as Jack, wearing his uniform, received a medal. He was glad this was finally over and didn't care if that was selfish of him. Jack was treating it just as selfishly. Though, his reasons were the fact that he didn't want to go through that hell again and because he didn't want to leave Ennis. And both of them were glad that Ennis wouldn't receive news that Jack had been killed in action.

A party was held afterwards, but they didn't go. Despite the fact that Jack had seemed fine, he complained about being tired and just wanted to go home. Ennis was afraid that being around stuff like that had taken a toll on Jack, reminding him what he had gone through the last two years. So Ennis didn't say anything.

Not until after he caught Jack burning his uniform.

Ennis stood there, his eyes on Jack, who was standing in front of the fireplace, just watching the uniform turn to ash. "Jack?" Ennis asked, getting Jack's attention though Jack didn't look at him. "You okay?" He thought back to all that had happened the night before, how Jack had seemed to get over the events of the last two years. He didn't know what Jack was feeling right now, how was he to know the reaction that ceremony would have on Jack?

Because he wanted Jack to talk to him and tell him.

Jack didn't say anything. He just stood there, his back to Ennis. The silence dragged on for a while longer. Ennis walked around the couch and over to where Jack was standing. "You regret goin' today?" he asked, afraid to get near Jack.

Jack had a cigarette in his hand, which he tossed into the fire. "Had to get it over with," he said then turned away from the fire. He walked over to the couch and sat down.

Ennis stood there, watching the fire then turned to face Jack. "You sure you're okay?" he asked though Jack hadn't said otherwise. Jack just nodded without looking at Ennis.

Ennis turned and left the living room, feeling bad for wanting to get out of Jack's presence for now. He grabbed a beer out of the fridge then stopped when the phone started ringing. He looked toward the living room then walked over to the phone and picked it up.

"Ennis?" It was his sister. "Just wanted to call to see how you were doing."

Ennis set the beer down on the counter, still holding it. "As good as we can be," he said, feeling heartbroken now. Jack had been so open yesterday, only to lead to the stone cold silence once more. "How're things there?"

"Things are that bad?"

"I didn't say-"

"You didn't have to," she said. "You okay?"

Ennis stared down at the beer bottle. "I don't know," he said. He wasn't really in the mood to talk. He wanted that conversation to be held with Jack, who was shutting him out again. "Sorry, but this ain't a good time."

"I understand," she said. "I love you."

"Yeah," Ennis said with a nod then hung up. He stood there for a moment then opened his bottle and took a long swig. He ran his fingers through his hair with a sigh.

Ennis didn't see much of Jack as the day went by. Jack just spent his time smoking out on the porch, a clear 'Don't Bother Me' sign evident in only his actions. Ennis didn't know what had changed and wished it hadn't. The only thing he could do was blame that damn ceremony, bringing up bad memories. As if nightmares weren't enough, he had to be honored for what he had gone through.

Jack didn't come to bed that night. Ennis laid there for hours, expecting him, but he never showed. He rolled over and went to sleep.

All night, Jack sat in the living room, an empty pack of smokes on the couch beside him. He didn't think he would have any problems with that ceremony, but all those familiar faces just brought back memories. Along with the familiar faces that should have been there but weren't because he had watched each and every one of them die. He looked at the ashes of what was left of his uniform, not caring if burning it was disrespectful. He wanted to get rid of that life. Ashes was all that was left of most of his friends.

Jack got up and left the living room. It was early morning when he stormed into the bedroom, waking Ennis up. Ennis rolled over onto his back as he watched Jack start throwing clothes out of the dresser and closet. He pushed himself up into a sitting position as Jack found a bag and started shoving things in.

"Jack, what the hell?" Ennis asked, looking at the time. It was past three. He looked back at Jack. "What're you doin'?"

"Packin'."

"Whatever the hell for?"

Jack dropped the bag on the bed, it was overflowing. "I gotta get out."

"What are you talkin' about?"

Jack looked down at the bag. "Let's go to Brokeback," he said, looking back at Ennis. "Remember how it was last time? Things made sense then and everything was fine."

"That was over five years ago," Ennis said. "We ain't those kids anymore." He wasn't too comfortable with the idea of going back to Wyoming, so close to his hometown. "Just tell me what's goin' through your mind and maybe-"

"How 'bout we don't and just let everything go and BE those kids again?" Jack asked. "Goddammit! I need this, Ennis! I would've thought you'd understand."

"I want to."

Jack stuffed everything into the bag and zipped it up. "I just want the normal back," he said a bit quietly.

Ennis sat there for a moment, knowing he wasn't going to get anything out of Jack willingly. He had known there had to be something more than what Jack had said before. Jack had gotten him to open up on Brokeback when they had met, maybe Jack would do the same and finally get everything resolved so they could work this out.

"All right," Ennis said. Jack looked at him. "Let's go to Brokeback." 


	18. Brokeback

It was like stepping back in time, yet not. They were older, but not necessarily wiser. But Brokeback Mountain was somehow different than the time Ennis had come up here to get away from everything and 'find himself.'

They had packed up and gotten on a plane the same day and got to Brokeback later that evening. The tent was set up in the same area Ennis' tent had been that first time on the mountain. It was almost as if Jack was taking them both back to that time. The present didn't exist. The last two years hadn't happened yet. Ennis knew this wasn't a healthy way to deal with their problems, but his plan was to coax Jack into talking. So, he went along with whatever Jack wanted to do. He helped set up camp without a word. Jack got a fire going once they were done.

A slight breeze blew through the trees as the sun went down. Jack and Ennis sat around the fire, eating some fish sticks they had brought along. They ate in silence. They had gone through the motions the last few hours. Nothing was said that would even hint at the fact that Jack had been gone the last two years. Missing. Going through who knew what. Ennis didn't bring it up because it would shatter the world Jack had created here since they arrived on the mountain.

Ennis set his plate down once he was finished and looked at Jack. "We should go on a walk tomorrow," he said, knocking crumbs off his jeans. He shifted in his seat, the noise loud in the silence.

Jack nodded his head without looking at Ennis. He continued eating without a word. Ennis was tempted to say something but chose not to and leaned back in his seat and looked out at the river nearby. He wanted back what they had the day before that ceremony. That one moment had made it seem like things were normal. Jack had been open with him and Ennis hoped that that hadn't been the last time.

"I'm gonna turn in early," Jack said, standing up. Ennis looked at him, but said nothing. He watched as Jack turned and went over to the tent and climbed in. Ennis looked forward at the dying fire. Jack was going to act distant until Ennis played along with this. Jack would also become distant if Ennis brought up what was constantly on his mind.

Ennis shook his head then stood up and put out the fire. Tonight, he'd be eighteen years old again. He would give Jack whatever he wanted, fulfill any fantasy. And maybe Jack would open up eventually. He turned and went into the tent. Jack was laying on his side, his back to Ennis. Ennis zipped the tent closed then pulled off his jacket. He looked over at Jack, who still didn't move. Ennis laid down beside him, but still there was nothing. He fell asleep.

When Ennis woke up the next morning, Jack was gone. He got up and stepped out of the tent, seeing Jack sitting on a rock, cleaning a gun. When Ennis walked over to him, Jack looked at him and greeted him with a smile that wasn't forced. Maybe pretending was good for him. But, it couldn't be. Not like this. Jack wasn't facing the problem. He was tossing it to the side and forgetting about it. Did he think being on Brokeback would fix things even when they got back home to Texas?

"Jack-"

"Ready for that walk?" Jack asked, standing up. "We can go hunting later." He set the gun down, leaning against the rock he had been sitting on. "And then maybe a little swimmin'?" He grinned.

"How 'bout we just focus on that walk for right now?" Ennis asked. He pushed feelings aside that threatened to arise. He needed to be here for Jack.

"I got a pack ready," Jack said, stepping past Ennis and grabbing a bag nearby. "Water, food, and a first aid kit. And whatever else we might need." He slung the bag on his back. "Ready to go?" Ennis merely nodded and they were off.

The next few hours, it was easy to forget the troubles they faced. They were once again the two young people that enjoyed each others company while exploring the mountain. But this time they didn't have to worry about making it back to camp in time for supper so Jack's parents wouldn't worry. They were free to do what they wanted, when they wanted.

So, while Ennis was packing their lunch up after they were through eating, Jack grabbed him in a fiery kiss. It took Ennis completely by surprise. The items he had been holding were dropped to the ground as Jack backed him up against a tree, never breaking the kiss. Jack's hands were all over Ennis' body, seeking contact as Ennis returned the kiss, his fingers clinging to the back of Jack's jacket collar. Jack had never displayed this type of animalistic desire.

"Fuck me," Jack muttered, getting Ennis' jeans open. He reached in and stroked Ennis to an erection as he kissed him again. Ennis groaned, pulling Jack close against him. "Ennis..."

The level of need in Jack's tone was what made Ennis stop and break the kiss. They were both breathing heavily and Jack's hand was still in Ennis' pants. He let go of Jack and lowered his hands. Jack didn't move from where he was standing, but he did withdraw his hand. Ennis refastened his jeans, still saying nothing.

"We need to talk," Ennis said after a long moment of silence. He searched Jack's eyes for anything. "We can't go on like this."

Jack stepped back away from him. "I don't need to talk," he said.

"Which just proves that you do."

Ennis cringed slightly as Jack turned away from him angrily. He gathered up everything and shoved them back into the bag. He looked at it for a moment then just threw it. It hit a tree, its contents spilling out before it dropped to the forest floor. Ennis didn't take his eyes off Jack, not knowing what to say. He felt his heart shatter as Jack walked off without looking at him.

Don't let him run.

"Jack!" Ennis called out, pushing away from the tree and hurrying after Jack. "We can get through this, just talk to me!"

Jack climbed over a fallen tree and stopped on the other side. He slowly turned around to face Ennis. "When I talk about it, those memories enter my head," he said. "Memories I'd rather forget then fuckin' carry around with me!" He kicked at fallen leaves and branches.

"We all go through that," Ennis said, remembering when he had opened up to Jack about memories he had kept hidden deep inside him since his brother's death. "I came out all right." He watched as Jack paused, obviously remembering that also. "Because I talked." His attention was brought to the fallen tree, a different memory entering his mind.

Jack turned away from him again. "Yeah, but that's different," he said. Those words hurt, but Ennis pushed it aside. "I just want peace and quiet. Nothin' to worry about so I can clear my head."

Ennis stepped forward. Jack's back was still to him. Jack turned once Ennis climbed up onto the tree. Jack looked at him, knowing the same thing was going through his mind. When Ennis had fallen off a similar tree and broke his ankle. They had spent the night out in the forest with nothing.

"Ennis."

"Worry will always be there," Ennis said, walking along the trunk as Jack came toward him. He kept a close eye on his footing. "You can push it aside and forget about it like it never happened. You can't change it, but you can move on from it." The tree gave a groan as he took another step. The look on Jack's face said he was afraid of something giving in and snapping that would send Ennis to the ground. Probably in worse condition than the last time.

"Ennis, just get down," Jack pleaded, desperation in his voice as he followed Ennis on the ground. "Gettin' yourself killed ain't gonna prove a point!"

"And what if it does?" Ennis asked. "You want this fantasy world? Fine. Just talk to me. If not me, than a doctor. Jack, you need something." He remembered when his parents had tried to get him some help after K.E.'s death. Ennis had ignored them and eventually run away. He wasn't exactly the best person to give advice about this.

"What I need is for you to get down," Jack said, wincing as Ennis took another step. "You-"

"Do you love me?"

"Ennis-"

"Just answer the fuckin' question!"

"You know I love you!" Jack exclaimed, frustrated, his hands balled into fists. "Why do you think I'm tryin' so hard to keep you from hurtin' yourself?"

"I'm tryin' to do the same," Ennis said. He gestured around. "What do you think this is doin'? Not makin' things better." He lowered his arms, the tree bowing beneath him slightly. "I came up here to help myself. You came here to get out of the present. And that's gonna hurt you more than whatever you went through the last two years."

"You don't know what I went through."

"Then tell me."

Jack was silent for a moment. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "I ain't ready," he said, his anger fading some. "Just give me time. By the end of our time here, I promise-"

"You're not just shitting with me?"

"I'll talk," Jack said, his voice and expression genuine as he made that promise. "Just give me this time."

Ennis opened his mouth to say something then fell as his foot shifted slightly. Jack cried out his name as Ennis fell on him, knocking them both to the ground, their faces inches apart. Thankfully, nothing had been broken this time.

Jack laid his head back on the ground, exhaling in relief. "You scared the shit outta me!" he said, lifting his head and looking at Ennis. "I swear if you do that again-"

"Don't have to worry about that," Ennis said, moving to get up but Jack grabbed him and held him there.

"Ennis," Jack said, something in his tone that Ennis couldn't distinguish.

Then he felt Jack's hip grinding against his groin. It was that instant he realized that he was still hard. Their eyes met and they stayed like that for a very long time.

"I never told ya," Jack said a bit quietly after a moment. "But, that night, I dreamed..." His hand drifted down to the front of Ennis' jeans, not needing to finish the sentence. "You're all I've ever wanted. Even when I didn't want to admit to some feelin's."

Ennis thrusted into Jack's hand, resting his forehead against Jacks. After a moment, their lips met. But there was still a hesitation in Ennis that Jack wanted to fix. He rolled them over and got up on his knees. Ennis didn't say anything as Jack got his jeans open then bent down and took Ennis into his mouth. Ennis let out a long groan after that and it wasn't long before Jack had him cumming.

But Ennis just laid there afterwards. Jack waited a moment longer then got to his feet, hurt. He didn't say anything as he walked off, hearing Ennis following after him. It wasn't rejection. That Jack could have handled. It was just how Ennis was just unwilling to do what he wanted. He didn't find that selfish since Ennis had his own selfish reasons for doing alot of stuff. Like getting Jack to talk about those two years. Would Ennis never understand that talking about that wasn't needed?

After a few minutes, Jack no longer heard Ennis' voice. He knew he couldn't have lost Ennis that easily, so Ennis had just let him go.

It was time for them to have their own time. 


	19. Real Closure

It was a light rain by the time Jack got back to camp later that night. What he had expected, he didn't find. Ennis wasn't there waiting on him. In fact, after a quick search, Ennis wasn't even in the tent. He wasn't there at all. Jack figured that this was what it must have felt like to his parents when he and Ennis had failed to show up for supper. Then he knew that this feeling was alot worse than what his parents had felt then. Because he was positive he loved Ennis more than his parents could ever love him.

Jack grabbed a flashlight from the tent and turned it on. He shined the light around in the trees nearest camp, but still saw no sign of Ennis. He called out his name, but there was no response. Jack panicked then took off running into the trees, not knowing how he was going to find Ennis, but he wasn't about to give up. He kept calling out for Ennis' name, but there was never a response.

As the minutes passed by, the rain started coming down harder. There was barely any visibility. Jack regretted grabbing the gun, but it was too late to go back for it now. He probably wouldn't be able to find his way back to camp. He was soaking wet, but that didn't seem to bother him. How could it when there was a possibility that Ennis could be in danger? How would he be able to live with himself after that?

Flashes of lightning gave him more visibility, but not enough. He just felt like he was running in circles. And every once in a while, the flashes of lightning would cause him to drop to the ground to find cover, memories of gunfire going through his mind. He couldn't remember when or where he had dropped the flashlight, but after a few times of dropping to the ground because of war memories, finally he just stayed on the ground, arms over his head.

The rain beat down upon his back, taking him back to the war. Laying in hiding with his fellow comrades while being hunted down and killed one by one. He squeezed his eyes shut, remembering the screams despite the loud gunfire. But still he never moved from his hiding place. Not until the screams and gunfire died away. That was when he had ran, dropping most of his equipment as he ran for his life. There was no honor in that. He had gone missing in action because he had been a coward.

Jack lifted his head. He was covered in mud, leaves and water. He was shivering, but didn't care. He stumbled a few times before he got a sure footing then he headed off again, yelling Ennis' name. He kept moving, always hopeful. After a couple of hours, the rain stopped. He still hadn't found Ennis. He called out Ennis' name one last time then dropped back to the ground, exhausted and cold.

He looked around as the moonlight shone through the trees, lighting the area around him. He paused at the sight of a fallen tree. Not the one Ennis had climbed onto earlier, but the one that Ennis had fallen off of and broken his ankle over five years ago. The tree no longer posed such great danger, but Jack recognized the area between the trees that he and Ennis had made camp. Jack got to his feet and walked over to it and, ignoring the mud, sat down in the same spot he had sat in then. He stared at the spot Ennis had laid.

He had really fucked up this time. He now saw the error of his ways and felt stupid for not realizing it sooner. He and Ennis would be together at camp if he hadn't been such an idiot. All he wanted to do now was apologize for everything he had put Ennis through. Ennis hadn't deserved any of it.

"Jack!"

Jack turned his head just as Ennis ran up, dropping down beside him. Ennis didn't look like he had been stuck out in the rain for the last couple of hours. He had a raincoat on, hood up, with one of those big spotlights, which he set to the side now before throwing his arms around Jack in immense relief.

"I know you needed to blow off some steam but," Ennis leaned back and looked at him. "Jack, what the hell were you thinkin'?! Worryin' the shit outta me-"

"I worried you?" Jack asked. "I've been lookin' for you all night!"

Ennis just sat there for a moment, but Jack spoke up before Ennis could say anything. "Ennis, I'm sorry," he said. "I've been an asshole to you and I-"

"Why were you lookin' for me?"

Jack looked at him as if he had spoken the most stupidest question he could ever ask. "I went back to camp and you weren't there," he said. "You really think I'd be mad enough at you to leave you completely on the mountain? I didn't do that the first time and I sure as hell ain't gonna do it again."

"I've been at camp," Ennis said. "You musta shown up there when I was out gatherin' firewood."

Jack leaned back against the tree, head in his hands. Ennis placed his hand on Jack's arm, knowing something had happened while Jack had been out here. Ennis wished that he had just stayed at camp no matter what, but Jack had seemed pretty upset with him and he had been afraid of how the confrontation would go down at camp.

"Jack," Ennis said, pulling Jack's arms down and looking into his eyes. Those blue eyes stared right back at him. "Jack, what happened?" From the look on Jack's face, Jack knew Ennis wasn't talking about his trek through the rain just a moment ago.

Jack looked down at his wet, mud covered self before looking back at Ennis. "I was a coward," he said. "Me and my unit were deployed to just take down information about a settlement that was rumored to be shipping weapons and such to the enemy. We were found out and ran off, separating to hide. We had strict orders to get back." He paused for a moment, clenching his hands into fists as those memories flooded through his mind once again.

"No one got back," Jack went on, his voice shaky. "I dropped everything and ran. The information we had was transmitted so no one assumed that I had just run for it. I got myself lost."

"Jack..."

"And they gave me a fuckin'...medal for it!" Jack said, angrily. "I didn't tell anyone I ran. No one asked me what I went through. They just honored me for it." He leaned forward, hiding his face as sobs came forth. Ennis didn't hesitate in putting his arms around Jack and holding him. They stayed that way for a long time.

"You ain't a coward," Ennis said, breaking the silence. "You got the job done and you came home. No one knows the circumstances you were facin'-"

"Ennis, I left them to die," Jack said, his voice a bit cold. "Yeah, I regret it and wish I could do it over again but..." He lifted his head and looked at Ennis. "but at the time, I didn't give a fuck about them. I was just savin' my own ass. How can that be honorable? Leavin' comrades to die?"

"What would have happened if you had done somethin'?"

Jack was silent for a moment then replied, a new tone in his voice. "I'd've been killed and the information would never have been transmitted," he said. "We would've lost alot."

"Then you did the only thing you could," Ennis said. "In a war, people go in knowin' there's a chance they won't make it out, but they always hope one person gets it done so the mission wasn't a waste."

"You think that was what was goin' through their minds?"

Ennis shrugged, not having an answer. "What I do know was they were also honored at that ceremony," he said, remembering the change in Jack had happened when those names had been read off. "You got the mission done. You did a good job."

"I still don't feel that way."

"Talkin' helps," Ennis said, brushing wet hair off Jack's forehead. "I survived off my mom's money the last two years. I'm sure she'll be willing to help get you some legit help." He knew it was an awful lot to ask of Jack, but knew that it would be an enormous help. "And then we'll get that normal back."

Jack stayed silent for a moment then nodded his head. "Might take a long time," he said. "But, I'm willing to try it." He corrected himself at Ennis' look, "Ok, I'll do it."

Ennis nodded his head. "Let's get back to camp," he said, helping Jack up then grabbed the light. "And get you cleaned up."

Jack grabbed Ennis' arm before he walked off. He nodded his head toward the old tree. "Can I get a fantasy fulfilled first?" he asked.

"Jack..."

Jack grabbed Ennis' jacket and pulled him toward the tree. They kissed, both feeling alot better than they had earlier. Ennis set the light down once again then pulled Jack toward him, feeling him shivering in his arms.

Ennis broke the kiss. "Jack, I really think we should get back to camp," he said. "Before you catch something."

Jack grinned. "I'll be warmed up soon enough," he said, his hands going to Ennis' belt.

Ennis stopped his hands. "I refuse to lay down in a shitload of mud," he said. At least he wasn't completely rejecting the idea.

Jack paused and looked at the tree then back at Ennis. "I'm sure you can think of ways to improvise," he said then kissed Ennis again. Ennis kissed him back and it didn't take him long to get what Jack had been meaning.

Jack was unfastening his own jeans as Ennis grabbed him and turned him then bent him over the old tree. Jack's pulse quickened as Ennis tugged his jeans down. Jack grabbed onto a branch as Ennis thrusted inside him, gripping the back of Jack's jacket as he started moving.

Moans and groans of pleasure filled the silent night. Jack ended up snapping the branch as he moved back against Ennis, moaning loudly as Ennis thrusted harder and deeper inside Jack. Two years had been way too long a wait to have Ennis inside him again. But, it was still worth it. Minus the part that Jack had left him alone for two years.

"Jack," Ennis moaned, his body pressed against Jack's back. Jack gave out a low groan as he felt Ennis cum inside him. He followed soon after.

They stood there breathing heavily for a moment then Ennis pulled out and refastened his jeans. Jack pushed away from the tree and pulled his pants back up. They shared a grin before heading back to camp.

It was early morning by the time they got back. Instead of heading straight to bed, Jack and Ennis cleaned up in the river before curling up in the tent and sleeping the day away. 


	20. Plans

They spent the next few days just enjoying themselves up on Brokeback. After that one rough night, things were back to normal between them. And for the first time since he got home, Jack looked really happy. And that made Ennis happy. They spent their time talking about the time they spent here instead of the last two years. Those days were pushed behind them and forgotten. They knew they were going to find happier days ahead.

After spending a few weeks up on Brokeback, they finally headed back home to Texas. It was late at night by the time they got back to the house.

Ennis caught Jack with a kiss as soon as they stepped through the door. They didn't bother with the lights as they stumbled about, yanking at each other's clothing. Ennis took off his jacket and dropped it to the floor behind him as Jack stopped on the stairs and started unbuttoning his shirt. Ennis stepped up onto the stairs with him to help. Together, they got Jack's shirt off of him and draped over the banister as their lips clashed together once more a bit more forceful this time.

Jack untucked Ennis' shirt, his hand moving up and over Ennis' chest. Ennis broke the kiss long enough for Jack to pull off his shirt. Leaving those items of clothing on the stairs, Jack took off up the stairs with a grin. Ennis ran after him, catching up when Jack turned and let him. They kissed as Ennis backed Jack up against the wall and started unfastening Jack's pants. Jack clung to Ennis, his fingers tangled in Ennis' hair. Ennis got Jack's pants open and slipped his hand in to find Jack's already fully erect cock. Jack let out a pleasured groan as Ennis started to slowly stroke him.

Then Ennis broke the kiss and looked into Jack's eyes. Jack only moved his eyes as he watched Ennis get down on his knees in front of him. This was a first and very appreciated as Ennis took Jack into his mouth. He held the base of Jack's cock, stroking him as his lips moved up and down along the shaft. He licked up along Jack's length before taking him into his mouth again, his teeth grazing lightly over the member. Jack closed his eyes, completely helpless.

"You're fuckin' good at this," Jack said, looking down at Ennis, their eyes meeting. Jack grabbed the back of Ennis' head and slowly started thrusting in and out of Ennis' mouth. He let out a long groan, pressing back against the wall. Ennis stroked him to a climax.

Jack smiled at him then pushed Ennis back to lay on the floor. A bed would be more comfortable, but Jack needed his man inside him now. He finished undressing then straddled Ennis, kissing him fiercely, moaning into it as Ennis returned the kiss with just as much fervor. Jack grabbed him and rolled them over, pulling Ennis on top of him. The bulge at the front of Ennis' pants was against Jack's entrance.

Ennis rose up on his knees and got his pants open and shoved down expertly. Jack's legs went around Ennis as Ennis leaned forward and pushed himself inside Jack. He wrapped his arms around Jack, holding him close as they started to move together as one. Jack felt him go deeper as he tightened his legs around Ennis. Their lips met once again as they made love, both of them feeling complete.

"Ohmigod!"

"Fuck!" Ennis cried out as he heard his sister cry out then hurry back down the stairs. He could hear her family and his mom downstairs also. "Jack..." He closed his eyes with a groan, too close to stop now. He pounded on the floor, not too hard, as he heard his niece and nephew downstairs.

There was a grin on Jack's face. "Well ain't this a fun reunion?"

Ennis looked at Jack and grinned. "You fuckin'..." He trailed off, dropping his head as he thrusted once more before cumming inside Jack, fighting the impulse to moan loudly. There were kids downstairs who didn't need to hear that. Thankfully Jack's moan wasn't loud either.

They lay there for a moment, both breathing heavily. Then Ennis pushed himself up, pulling out of Jack, who rolled over and grabbed his pants, pulling them back on as he got to his feet. Ennis pulled his pants up and fastened them as he got to his feet. He headed downstairs, grabbing his shirt and putting it on as he went into the living room where everyone else was.

His sister gave him a look and Ennis nearly blushed in embarassment before he was saved by his niece and nephew, who ran up to him with a big hug. He knelt down to their eye level and gathered them up in his arms, ignoring the fact that everyone else in the room knew what he had just been doing right upstairs. Jack came downstairs a little while later, wearing jeans and a T-Shirt now. Ennis sat on the couch beside him.

"We were gonna call before coming," his sister said, clearly embarassed with being the one to catch her brother having sex, but she was hiding it well. "We were gonna surprise you."

"Well, you definitely acheived that," Ennis said, glancing at Jack who hid a grin. He looked back at his sister. "Why'd you come anyway? We haven't picked a date for the wedding."

"I told you I was going to plan the wedding," his sister said. "Now, are you gonna give me the honors, or do I have to force y'all?"

Jack shook his head. "You can do whatever you want," he said, his hand resting on Ennis' back. "Thanks."

His sister smiled. "You're welcome," she said, clearly trying to erase what she had seen to focus again. She was still a bit flushed.

"Anyone need a drink?" Ennis asked, getting to his feet. He ignored the look on his sister's face that said she needed a strong drink. He headed into the kitchen as Jack started up a conversation with everyone.

He wasn't surprised that his sister followed after him.

"Should've called first, huh?" she asked, leaning back against the counter as she watched him grab some glasses from the cupboard.

"The lights were off," Ennis said then looked at her. "Should've gave you a warning."

She crossed her arms. "I also expected it to be behind closed doors in your bedroom," she said. "Where I could knock and let you know we were here." She shook her head and looked away from him.

"You really gonna dwell on this?"

"You're my brother, Ennis," she said, looking at him. "I love you just the same, but that image is gonna pop into my head when I don't want it to."

"It'll pass eventually," Ennis said, grabbing a drink from the fridge and filling the glasses. "Now can we please drop it? This encounter is already embarassin' enough for me."

"Just be glad it wasn't mom," she said then helped Ennis take the glasses into the living room.

The next hour or so was spent talking about wedding plans or just catching up. The kids were put to bed and everyone turned in just after midnight. Ennis closed and locked the door before climbing into bed with Jack.

"This was a fun evening," Jack said, wearing only boxers. Ennis put his arm around him, his head resting on Jack's chest. "Other than the fact that your sister has now seen me naked."

"Not you, too!"

Jack put his arms around Ennis. "Just kidding," he said, kissing the top of Ennis' head. "We've got a long day tomorrow, huh?" Tomorrow was the start of the wedding plans. Ennis would have been content with just the two of them heading over to a chapel to get it done. But, Jack wanted it to be special.

So mom was paying for a trip to California where they could make the marriage legal.

Ennis ran his hand over Jack's chest, feeling Jack's nipples harden. "Flyin' to California don't give us alot of alone time," he said, gently thrusting his hips against Jack.

Jack rubbed Ennis' back. "Until the wedding night," he said then kissed Ennis and rolled over, laying on top of Ennis, whose arms went around Jack immediately.

This was their last night before then and they were going to enjoy it. Their version of a bachelor party. Who needed beer and strippers when they had each other? 


	21. Ever After

They touched down in California in the afternoon. Plans had been made for the wedding to take place the next morning. Which left the rest of today for Jack and Ennis to spend. On the flight they had already decided to stick around California for a while after the wedding. Mostly just to see new places. Ennis hadn't been around anywhere that much so Jack was going to make sure their time here was well spent.

Sometimes they hung out with Ennis' mom, sister and her family, but most of the time it was just him and Jack. No one seemed to mind anyway. Jack and Ennis went out wherever they could, having the time of their lives. It was a relief to know things were back to normal, ignoring the fact that Jack would still visit a psychiatrist since that was best. He couldn't complain if that made Ennis happy. Ennis had opened up even more since leaving Wyoming. Jack knew that there was now no way possible for either of them to push the other away. They were stuck forever and always.

Ennis climbed into bed later that night, exhausted from the busy day. His mom had gotten them the best suite of the hotel. The view of the beach was spectacular. Jack was sitting out on the balcony, having a smoke. Ennis thought about getting up to join him, but he was tired and they both had to get up early the next morning if they wanted to get to the wedding on time. The wedding chapel was about ten minutes away from the hotel. Not too bad if there wasn't traffic. Hopefully there wouldn't be any traffic. Ennis had enough nervousness as it was. Sitting in traffic would just make it worse.

He didn't know why he was so nervous. He was the most comfortable around Jack. He knew he was spending the rest of his life with Jack even before Jack had proposed marriage. It didn't seem possible to see a world without Jack by his side. So, why was he nervous? Was it because it would be a time where he would even more publicly show his adoration for the man he loved? Sure, not many people would see it, but it was still really public. It shouldn't be a big deal for him since he had crossed this bridge already. But, it was still ingrained deep within him that he was raised to view this as wrong. He cursed his father in his head, wishing these thoughts never entered his mind. Especially tonight!

Ennis rolled off the bed, wearing only a T-shirt and shorts. He stepped out onto the balcony to join Jack, sliding the door closed behind him. Jack looked at him then scooted over a bit and patted the seat next to him. Ennis climbed into the chair with Jack, his arms around Jack as he rested his head on his chest. Jack's arm went around him and they sat there silent for a long time. Ennis could sit there with him forever. There would be thousands of moments like this in the future. And Ennis found himself now wanting to face that nervousness tomorrow. Because it meant he REALLY loved Jack. More than anything. Nothing could break them apart. They had survived through a war, they could last through anything.

"Gettin' cold feet?" Jack asked, breaking the silence.

"I ain't wearin' any socks," Ennis said with a grin, looking at Jack. Jack smiled back and kissed him. "Nothin' would make me get cold feet."

Jack's smile widened. "That's good."

"But, I AM nervous."

"Shit, who wouldn't be?" Jack said, turning his head as he put his cigarette out, leaving it in the ashtray on the table beside the chair. He looked back at Ennis when the silence dragged on a bit longer. "I didn't mean anything bad about it."

"I know," Ennis said. "We've both been lookin' forward to this for two years. We shouldn't be nervous."

"Nervousness just means you're human," Jack said. "It means nothing. If we dwell on it, it might become somethin' and that's really not what I wanna get into, now that we're so close to this."

"It's a REALLY big step."

"Ennis, you're dwellin' on it."

"Sorry," Ennis said, his face against Jack's chest. He tightened his arms around Jack. "I've gotten better, I swear. There's just a little voice in the back of my head that keeps bringin' up all that shit I was raised up in." He lifted his head and looked at Jack, knowing the feeling would pass once he talked it out with Jack. "And, while you were gone...My loyalty was tested and I nearly failed."

"What're you talkin' about?"

"My dad...He showed up and took me out to a bar to..pick up women," Ennis said, seeing jealousy appear on Jack's face instantly. "I didn't do anything, I swear. If anything, it made us stronger."

"How does fuckin' a woman make us stronger?"

"I told you I didn't do anything."

"Doesn't mean you didn't think about it."

Ennis fell silent. He hated the fact that he HAD thought about it at the time even though not for very long. He was also afraid that if the woman hadn't wanted his dad to come along, he would have gone through with whatever. He would hate himself even more afterwards and Jack would probably have left him. Who knew where Ennis would be then?

"Hey," Jack said soothingly, obviously noticing something in Ennis' expression. "Sorry about everything I said. I'm just really...selfish when it comes to you. I'd get jealous if anyone just looked at you."

"It's not that," Ennis said with a slight shake of his head. "I love you more with each passin' second. I wouldn't do anything to make you jealous. Thinkin' about you'll keep me from doin' anything like that."

Jack relaxed a bit. "Your dad made you do it?"

"My dad convinced me to go out because I was doin' pretty bad without you," Ennis said. "And he took advantage of that."

"Makes me never wanna leave you again."

"And you better not."

"I promise," Jack put his arms around Ennis and kissed him.

They headed to bed a few minutes later, Ennis' arms securely around Jack as they laid there chest-to-back. They fell asleep with no worries about tomorrow.

Ennis woke up to the alarm the next morning, finding Jack gone. He shut off the alarm and heard the shower running. He grinned when Jack started singing in the shower. He got out of bed and headed toward the bathroom. The door was open a crack. He stood there, a smile on his face. Jack wasn't the greatest singer, but he sounded perfect to Ennis. Even when he went off tune.

Pulling off his clothes, Ennis stepped into the bathroom. He closed the door silently. The mirror was fogged up. He wrote, "I ? You" then pulled the curtain aside and stepped into the shower with Jack, who stopped singing at his sudden appearance.

Jack turned to him as Ennis backed up him against the wall. "We're gonna be late, aren't we?" Jack asked, a grin on his face.

"They cain't start without us," Ennis said, his hands on the wall on either side of Jack. He pressed his body against Jack's and kissed him. Jack's body was warm from the hot water and felt heavenly against Ennis' skin. Jack kissed him back, turning the cold water off a bit more. Hot water coursed down Ennis' back, not caring how hot it was.

Jack stroked them both to an erection, making Ennis squirm in desire, his heart pounding against his chest. Jack grabbed the soap and rubbed it all over Ennis' chest and back. Jack smiled into the kiss as he soaped up Ennis' rock hard cock. He was nearly shaking with anticipation. No matter how many times he was with Ennis, every time felt like the first. The soap slipped out of his fingers as Ennis grabbed him and turned him around. He let out a long groan as Ennis entered him, laying his head against Jack's back with a long exhale of breath.

Ennis reached around and stroked Jack as he started to move. His thrusts came slow until Jack moved back against him and begged, "Faster!" Ennis obliged and soon brought Jack to a climax. Jack smiled with a "Fuck, yeah!" reaching back to Ennis. Moving his hands all along his lovers back, Ennis thrusted a few more times before pressing close to Jack and cumming inside him. Jack moaned, laying his head back against Ennis' shoulder. Ennis' arms went around him, holding him close as Ennis planted kisses along his neck and shoulders.

"Aw, I never wanna leave," Jack said, grinding against Ennis who was still deep inside him.

Ennis tugged a bit on Jack's chest hair. "Look forward to our wedding night," he said, pulling out. Jack pouted, wanting to have another go. Ennis grabbed the soap. They took turns washing each others body. And as Ennis rinsed off, Jack didn't miss the chance to go down and take Ennis into his mouth.

"At least I was tryin' not to make us late," Ennis said, holding back a groan. He wasn't trying to stop Jack though. "We have plenty of time for this later. We gotta get movin'."

Jack stroked Ennis, looking up at him. "You're the one that got in my shower."

Ennis rolled his eyes then let out a moan, breathing heavily as Jack stroked him to a climax. He placed both hands against the wall as he came on Jack. He shook his head, leaning back against the wall. "We're gonna be late for sure."

Jack grinned up at him. "I think I'm done for now anyway," he said, standing up. Ennis reached up and wiped the cum off Jack's face. They both smiled at each other.

Ennis got out of the shower when there was a loud knock at the room door. He dried off as much as he could, slipping on his discarded shorts before closing the bathroom door and going to the other. He opened the door to see his sister standing there. She stared at him when she saw his wet hair and that he was only wearing shorts.

"You do know you've got less than half an hour," she said, disapproval in her tone. "We'll have to pay more if your late and the service runs longer."

"You look pretty," Ennis said, gesturing to the flowery pink dress she was wearing.

She sighed. "You don't care if you're late."

"Mom apparently doesn't mind spendin' money."

She pulled out her phone, fiddled with it then turned it to him for him to see. It was a text from mom, saying that she would make both Ennis and Jack pay for everything if they ended up being late.

"That ain't fair," Ennis said as she put the phone away. "She said-"

"She was teasin'," she said, pushing past Ennis as she walked into the room. "You got your tux, right?" She stopped when Jack came out of the bathroom wearing only a towel. Jack immediately stepped back into the bathroom.

Ennis closed the room door. "Not that I don't enjoy flaunting our sex life," he said sarcastically. "But, we can find the chapel on our own. You don't have to come here to check up on us."

She turned to him. "You're not even dressed!" she said. "Apparently you can't do anything without someone here to motivate you."

"Motivate everyone at the chapel," Ennis said, grabbing Jack's tux out of the closet. He walked over to the bathroom, opened the door and handed it in then closed the door back. "We'll be there as soon as possible."

"You better," she said. "Mom can't take anymore stress from waiting."

Ennis crossed his arms. "I really don't think she's the one stressin' out."

She glared at him. "Just hurry up, okay?" she said. "We've got reservations afterwards and I really don't want to be late for that or our table will be given to another party."

"Mom's the one that said California," Ennis said. "Go ahead and blame her."

"You could've said no."

Ennis pointed at the door. "Leave before Jack decides to come out here naked."

The door behind Ennis opened a crack. "Yeah, cuz my dream is to streak 'round your sister," Jack said sarcastically before closing the door back. Ennis couldn't keep from grinning.

She sighed. "See you at the chapel," she said. "In fifteen minutes." She left the room.

Ennis shook his head then went to get dressed.

They made it to the chapel with barely a minute to spare. Ennis still felt nervous but having Jack by his side made it all better. The ceremony went by smoothly and perfectly. There was a smile on everyone's face. Nothing was more perfect than this moment. And even more perfect moments would come in the future. They exchanged vows, promising to be together forever.

They kissed for the first time as a married couple.

THE END 


End file.
